Friday 20 February 2009

Pop my eyeballs in an Alka Seltzer

ARRRGGGHHHH! You know what that sound is? It's the sound of my eyeballs screaming at me, trying desperately just to escape the confines of my skull. Those guys are pissed and typing here isn't making it any better. I have been playing Street Fighter IV for around 5 solid hours. I have fueled myself with ginger ale and banana pud. For the record, both were lovely.

*ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHEEIEIEIIEI!*

Alright, geez, sorry. What am I trying to say you ask? Firstly, Street Fighter IV is fantastic. However, Seth, the final boss, is a ballbag. Really, really unbearable: to the point that you begin to question your own sanity and balance in your mind, after your 30th continue, whether or not this is really worth it. Sure, you may beat him eventually and you'll take some pride from that. Then, slowly but surely, the reality will creep into your consciousness. The reality is that you just lost an hour of your life to defeating someone who is essentially, the hideous love child of Jade Goodey and Duncan Goodhew. Oh yeah, and Hitler or one of them fellas put a bit of seed in too, just for added evil. The worst part is you can't even make some sort of claim to superior skill once the whole ordeal is over, because the reality is you are knackered, fatigued even, all you want to do is go weep in the corner rather than ride the wave of your success. Based on my own experiences, I offer up this piece of advice: When playing Arcade mode, leave your pride at the door. Beat him first time and your a legend, beat him after 200 attempts and you're a loser. Get used to that fact and bump it down to Easy, that's what I did.


So, if you're anything like me today, you will have shed many a tear, those of joy upon witnessing the beauty of Capcom's finest first-hand and those of despair when you are reminded of why they remain the 'Hardcore's Favourite'. Need cheering up? Look no further than some delightful videogame-inspired comics via our good friend Paperboy. He is a man of discerning taste, you can rely on these to ease a smile onto your sore face. Click the picture for more.

The Faux Bot

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