Wednesday, 26 August 2009

The Zangief Chronicles

Zangief genius brought to my attention earlier today by Cr0nt: Zangief Chronicles

An insightful look at Zangief's attempts at love and human interaction. This is a look at a private life I know we've all wondered about.

Go my friends, laugh out loud at this awesome site and it's videos. I'm sure the wallpapers will be adorning your monitors within minutes^^.

Tuesday, 25 August 2009


This is your brain on drugs

If there were more cycloptic characters then the world would be a far radder place.

Saturday, 22 August 2009

Bloody Hell

I have seen the future, ladies and gentlemen. Do you want to know what I saw there? The world was full of Street Fighter dioramas that have light-up bits on them. Like this one:

Get your very own slice of the future for the bargain price of $344.99(!!!) from Sideshow Collectables. Oh, wait they're sold out........ SOLD OUT!? Who has the money to actually buy this stuff? Tony Stark!? Jesus Christ!?! Oprah!?! I bet they all have like, 50 each.

Thursday, 20 August 2009

Zombies - the way to my heart (via tearing open my ribcage and devouring my lungs)

I don't think there will ever be a point at which I get bored of Zombie games. Whilst they are most certainly 'in' at the moment, I love the undead so much that I will always be able to bypass shit titles in the optimistic hope that another Left 4 Dead is just waiting to be developed.

With the prospect of me buying a PS3 edging closer to reality with the announcement of the Slim, I can actually look forward to Dead Nation: the next title from Super Stardust HD developers Housemarque. A top-down twin-stick zombie shooter with an infection-stemming online leaderboard meta-game? ........oh go on then.

via Offworld

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Mike FAUX'ing Haggar

My friend and yours, Ultimate GMX, has a strange obsession with drawing yours truly. In his warped child's brain, I look a hell of a lot like the Grinch and usually have my wang out. Thankfully, for this public viewing we have been spared the sight of my illustrated wang, but you still have to look at that face.

I hope this doesn't haunt you in your nightmares as it does mine. This is me as Mike Haggar, pimping the site as usual. Click to embiggen and see it animated when we figure out what went wrong. Oh, also leave a comment because he is incredibly self-conscious, bless him.

Metal Gear Stoned

Many of you may be familiar with Harry Partridge due to his Saturday Morning Watchmen vid getting quite a bit of attention. If not, I suggest that you follow the link to his channel to watch it along with everything else he has done.

If that's not motivation enough, then this videogame-themed gem should leave you wanting more:

Props to Prof. Membrain for the find.

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

The Split-Screen Street Fighter 4 Tournament - A New Age Has Dawned!

YAY! It's finally here! The second stage of our very long-winded Street Fighter tournament. I can only apologise for all the delays and tomfoolery, but sigh no more friends, for the second stage is far more exciting and in case you hadn't already gathered: it's here!

As I mentioned before, all we have to do now is fight each other once more, but this time we won't be confined to schedules. You know who you have to fight, so quit stalling and go fight! Due to this new structure it is now more important that both fighters feedback the results to me. I have a little notebook to jot them down in and the table will be updated weekly. Here's where we all stand right now:

That's it! Go fight ya jerks!

Sunday, 16 August 2009

Save GameCentral

It is with much regret that I say I never read GameCentral. The major reason for this is that I don't get any TV reception in my room. When Vandalworks brought it to my attention that the Teletext-based service will be shutting down, the least I could do was help spread the word a little and get you all to sign this online petition.

Do it for decent games journalism, do it for Vandalworks, do it for the kids.

Saturday, 15 August 2009

Michael Myers in the house

When I received a voice message a few days back from a random COD4 player claiming he was 'setting up a Mike Myers' I naturally assumed he was a crazy and his knife spree would be on the news in a day or two. When no news of this kind broke, I checked into it and discovered it was a user created game played out in private matches on COD. It actually sounds OK, here are the rules I found on the AV Forum:

"Michael Myers rules:

- 1 person will be nominated to be MM. This person will choose the top team and everyone else will choose bottom.
- MM must have the following setup – Shotgun, Bandolier, Juggernaut and Extreme Conditioning.
- Everyone’s setup must include a shotgun. The perks can be chosen by yourselves but claymores/3xfrag/C4 are not allowed.
- You are not allowed to kill MM, only hide and run. Only the last person standing is allowed to pull out there weapon to try and kill him.
- Victims are allowed to throw stuns/flashes/smoke grenades to help them escape MM (NO REAL GRENADES)
- Whoever is the last man standing against MM will become MM in the next round.
- 15 minute Time Limit.. (If possible)
You only get 1 life on this Mode"

Also alternative rules/
"Zombie Game Rules:

- 2 people will be nominated to be Zombies. These 2 people will choose the top team and everyone else will choose bottom.
- Zombies are only allowed to stab there victims.
- Victims may shoot at the Zombies but the game will be set up to allow headshots only. (No stabbing the zombies!)
- Victims are only allowed to use Bolt Action Snipers and pistols to take out a zombie. Zombies must run around with pistols so that ammo can be picked up by the victims.
- Once you have been stabbed by a zombie you must change team and begin hunting.
- The last 2 standing will become Zombies in the next game.
20 minute time limit
Lives are unlimited so that Zombies can keep coming back for more!"

I investigated why MM needs the shotgun and it turns out he can use it when it's down to 1 vs 1.

I'm not saying it looks as fun as the genius that was King of the castle we invented for GTA4, but it does look like a bit of a laugh. A topic for the forum?

If you overlook the fact Myers is spelled wrong at the beginning, this is funny in parts...

Friday, 14 August 2009

Presenting...The Faux Bot in 'Suck Hard'

'Suck Hard' is a movie that I accidentally starred in. It Unfortunately doesn't feature either Bruce Willis or Germans. It does however, feature some unintentional buffoonery and a skateboard. Enjoy!

Also, notice how I no longer have to sign my posts? I finally figured out how we can all post under our usernames. Only took me 3 years! Good times.


If theres one thing that developers id do well its FPS and if you dont believe me check out the new trailer for their next big thing ,Rage! An awesome looking post-apocolyptic FPS/Driving game scheduled for release in 2010. Please come join me on the awesome side of the fence for this game and look out for Hype-Pipe feature closer to realese for more details. Enjoy!!!!


Splitscreen book club?

Knowing many of us enjoy the odd art book and seeing how Street Fighter IV has been making up a large part of our time over the last few months I thought I'd share this, in case anyone has missed it.

There's a cool video on Amazon of a reviewer flicking through the pages here. At 320 pages and with the variety of images, artists and styles this seems a steal at 22.49- although amazon have only 4 left left in stock as I'm typing this. Go now!


Hype-Pipe: Borderlands

With the recent delays of some of the games I've been excited to get my hands on in the next few months such as Bioshock 2, Bayonetta, and Splinter Cell Conviction, the latter causing me to find it difficult to get hyped about most of the other releases coming out as I had my heart set on stepping back into Sam Fisher's shoes. Sure there's Modern Wafare 2, Left 4 Dead 2, Assasains Creed 2, and Mass Effect 2, all of which I will be purchasing, but as you can obviously notice the pattern of sequels we can all expect more of the same from their previous counterparts. I want something new to play and I can't wait till December for Saboteur, but luckily for me, and you lot of course, I found such a game in Gearbox's Borderlands.

Borderlands is the bastard lovechild of the RPG and FPS genres and the nearest thing I can compare it to so you can get a rough idea is Fallout 3, but where Fallout 3 was a straight-up RPG that had shooting elements, also you wasn't confined to playing it as a FPS, Borderlands is a first person shooter first that also happens to contain all the main aspects of a RPG such as an in-depth character development system and the levelling up of skills and experience, Gearbox President Randy Pitchford has even stated in an interview that he got his inspiration for the RPG elements form the classic PC-Game Diablo, a game I can't recommend highly enough to you all, and for those that have played it you can get a rough idea of how the leveling up syestem will work.

Borderlands is set in a world that can only be described as the wild west meets Mad Max with the visual style of Crackdown and your first task when starting the game is to choose one of the four character classes. There's Roland the soldier whos expertise is weapons such as assualt rifles and shotguns, he can also deploy shields with gun turrets. Then we have Mordecai, a sniper who is extremely agile and comes equipped with a sword for close combat and a pet called Bloodwing who can also devolp skills as you level up. Next up is a siren called Lilith, a mage-like character explained by alien influences in this game, who has special abilities such as the "Phase Walk" which allows her to become cloaked for a certain durtion. Finally theres Brick, the tank of the group, his expertise is heavy weapons and his mammoth mitts that he can dish out a great deal of damage with when using his "Beserker Blood Rage" ability.

After picking your character you can choose to play through the campaign, which roughly takes 15 hours, thats without counting the 120 side missions and quests, and once you have fully completed the campaign you can start all over from scratch keeping all your stats and current equipment. Whats the point you ask? Well just like in Diablo the whole point is to horde money and the best items and as you level-up the more chance you have of getting the best weapons and items out of the possible 16 million....yes you read correctly 16 MILLION!!!. Using the games innovative Gearbuilder system, the games AI creates specific models of each weapon using different grips, magazines, barrel lengths, stock types, silencers, as well as extra special accesories such incendiary devices. In an early reveal to the press Randy Pitchford opened up a debug menu to show that there was just 2.5 million shotguns in the game.

Borderlands also has a 4 player drop-in/drop-out system at any point in the game, for example you can choose to start the game alone and if you get into some difficulties with some of the games larger and more difficult enemies ask a friend to drop in and help. There are drawbacks to this though, if you invite any higher level character into your game they will dish out more damage which means they can take out enemies quicker than you and mop up the experience points for themselves but its entirely your choice.

I wasn't exicited about Borderlands when it was first announced but when the game was delayed and then the new art style was unvieled earlier this year I was intrigued to say the least but with all the details about that game that has followed in the past few months, noticebly the comparisons to one of my favourite RPGs of all time, to say that I'm excited is understatement to how badly I want this game.Check out the trailer below and draw your own conclusions.


Thursday, 13 August 2009

The Split-Screen Street Fighter Tournament: Update! (again)

Just another quick update to make sure we all know what's going on. Right now, we are one fight away from what I'm thinking of as 'game time'. Basically, once Bojack fights MuzzledGrunt (formerly known as J JOHNSON) then we will have each fought each other once. From thereon in you will have to fight everyone again, but this time you won't be constrained to our fixtures schedule.
The whole purpose of the schedule was because I assumed there wouldn't be that much interest and as usual, I would have to bully people into sharing my enthusiasm. Thankfully, I was proved wrong and everyone has thoroughly gotten into it, something for which I am incredibly grateful.

When the next round begins, we will have weekly updates (at least) to the table so you guys can keep tabs on each other and see who you need to beat. After that, we get the semis and the finals and then two of you lucky chaps get to walk away with shiny, shiny cups. NaFunk is still yet to rejoin us, but the loose structure of the next round will be much more accommodating to people's schedules which will allow him to rush a heap of matches before the semis start, if he so wishes.

Keep watch on here as always for an 'official' announcement, here's how we all stand right now (not counting fights held this week):

The Faux Bot

Top Ten Skate.Reel Videos

To celebrate 1.5 million uploads to their Skate.Reel community, the guys over at Black Box have compiled a video of their ten favourite clips. If you are at all familiar with Skate then you can probably guess what made number one, but that doesn't in any way detract from how brilliant it is.

Makes me think about starting up the throwdown again. Paperboy! What say you?

The Faux Bot

Watch this: NOW!

Urgency is required! As I watched this in my characteristically nonchalant fashion, planning to blog it afterwards, I realised that today is the last day that this movie is free to watch online.

Second Skin unfortunately has nothing to do with hot ladies in skin-tight latex - as the title misled me to believe. It is however, a fascinating look into the world of MMO gaming from a relatively non-patronising standpoint. The 'outside looking in' mentality that usually surrounds any sort of reportage on gaming culture is both frustrating and demeaning, luckily, that is something that this documentary bypasses, so far at least. As I haven't yet finished watching it (blog urgency!) it may take a turn for the worse, but I have faith.

It's pleasing to see the positive influence these games have on people's lives. It's very easy to vilify MMO gamers and their shunning of our perceived reality. Whilst I could never commit to something so all-consuming, the idea of everyone starting out equal is one that appeals to me. Then I imagine myself in 5 years; having to remortgage the house, wondering where my family have gone as I try to prise myself from a computer chair cocoon comprising of my own piss, feaces, jizz and Wotsit crumbs. I'm not judging MMO gamers, just myself.

The Faux Bot

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Avatar Shmarketplace

As many of you already know, the XBOX Live Dashboard was once again updated today, bringing with it games on demand and the titular Avatar Marketplace. As a boy of varying extremes, this new addition would be all the more easier to deal with if I had strong feelings about it, whether they be good or bad. Unfortunately, I find the prospect of purchasing virtual clothes as being rather 'meh'.

Whilst the Lightsaber and Monkey Island props are amusing enough, overall it still feels a bit shit. Thinking about avatars in the wider sense of the word -you know, the kind you can have on OUR AWESOME FORUM - I always thought that half the fun was trawling the Internet for something that you feel represents you. I have agonised over forum avatars, just hoping that selecting that perfect gif will allow other users to know just how rad I think I am. Whether we admit to it or not, we are egotistical creatures who dearly value our sense of individuality. When Avatars were first introduced we would often be forced into creating the most obscure, even disturbing avatars (Token Gestures) in order to attain that sense of individuality. However, with the inclusion of deliberately 'quirky' items -the Monkey Island props, for example- even this option loses it's value.

As always, this is no ordinary moan. Microsoft need worry no more, for I - The Faux Bot - have compiled a list of items that would almost double the Avatar Marketplace's 'Radness Percentage'. (*)

1. 3-D Glasses.

It's a fact that in the 80's, all groups of Cronies had to have at least one dude with 3-D Glasses. Any bad guy with a crew that lacked a 3-D Glasses dude would have been laughed out of town. As such, they are the pinnacle of radness and need to be included.

2. Mike Haggar Costume.

Some of you may have figured out by now that I am slightly obsessed with Final Fight's Mike Haggar. It's partly because he can take Zangief and because he can piledriver a shark and is a full-time mayor of Metro City. However, it is mainly because as a man in his 40's, he has the balls to swagger around looking like Tom Sellick, topless save for the strap of his green dungarees. Any man with this much confidence deserves to be a hero and thus deserves to be immortalised as a downloadable costume for a pointless Avatar.

3. The ability to become a Zombie.

Who doesn't love Zombies? What? You!? Kindly do one, would you?

Right, now that ballbag has left we can go on imagining how amazing it would be for your Avatar to become zombified. Hopefully this sort of thing is an inevitable tie-in for upcoming titles such as Left4 Dead 2 and Dead Rising 2. If not, why not? However, in this eventuality, I propose that Microsoft look no further than George A. Romero's Dawn of The Dead. Next to that plaid-shirted zombie that nearly offs him, Flyboy, or Stephen is the coolest looking Zombie in the whole movie:

Give me that outfit, replete with blood stains, tears and head droop and I'll officially quit moaning forever. Unless I'm perfecting my Bub impression.

4. Kaneda's Bike.

As far as props go, the only thing I could think of was Kaneda's motorcycle from Akira. As a child, when I saw the animated version of Katsuhiro Otomo's manga, I knew that my life would not be complete until I owned THAT bike. The countless attempts to replicate a fully working version are testament to the fact that I am not the only one who holds this dream. It was and still is the coolest thing I have ever seen. Gimme.

What about you? Any thoughts on the update in general, or what items would you demand are included? I only ask because in the event that any of these are actually made available, they will all be exclusive to me in order to retain my individuality, so you'd better get thinking.

The Faux Bot

* The term 'Radness Percentage' is a registered trademark of 'The Faux Bot Radness Consultancy Group'. If you wish to increase your company's 'Radness Percentage' then please contact me directly for a quote.

Sunday, 9 August 2009

Beauty, in 2 dimensions

It's not far-fetched to assume that most of the current generation of young gamers will grow up with little or no knowledge of 2D games. Despite the visual feasts presented to me in the forms of Gears of War, MGS4 and Mario Galaxy, I still find some of the most visually arresting games to be those rendered in 2D. I'm not going to claim that it's a dying art because it clearly isn't. There are plenty of 2D games still being made and beautifully so. I've rounded up a few that are currently on my radar and because I'm so lovely, I thought that I'd share them with you.


Machinarium Trailer from Amanita Design on Vimeo.

Machinarium describes itself as a puzzle/adventure game that seems to take it's cues from our beloved Lucasarts point n' clicks. You have been thrown out of the scrap yard and you've lost your girlfriend. Whether it can match the insane genius puzzles of Day of the Tentacle and co. is yet to be seen but one thing is for sure: this game looks stunning. It's like Belleville Rendez-vous meets Metropolis, directed by Henry Selick. It's going to be download-only for the PC and it'll cost you $17 when it comes out this October. If I can confidently run it, I've got no reason not to pick it up. It's being independently published right now, but only the most foolish of publishers would pass on this. Let's hope they can strike a deal in the future for the likes of PSN and XBLA.


Blazblue launch trailer from Gamer Limit on Vimeo.

Coming from Japanese developer Arc System Works - those responsible for Guilty Gear - Blazblue is, obviously, a 2D fighter. There's not much else to say for it other than it looks incredible. The character art, background design, the lighting. Jesus Christ. My jaw dropped when I first saw this game and then promptly feformed into a scowl when I heard that it wasn't coming to the UK. Just another reason why I should buy a PS3 then: I could import this with ease.

King Of Fighters XII:

King of Fighters XII launch trailer from Gamer Limit on Vimeo.

Whilst it may lack the memorable characters of it's closest rival: Street Fighter, the King of Fighters series is arguably, equally as popular in it's native Japan. It's not exactly a household name out here, but with Street Fighter IV going some way to re-igniting the fighting genre, there's a whole new audience primed for the home console release of KOF 12, me being one of them. I'm running out of adjectives now, so I'll spare you another variation on 'visually stunning', you get the picture by now.

Muramasa: The Demon Blade

Coming to Wii sometime in November, Muramasa is a Castlevania-esque action platformer with an art style that takes it's cues from traditional Japanese prints, much like Okami. Inky ribbons flow and splash across the screen with a hint of familiarity, just enough to still allow Muramasa to be uniquely beautiful and set it aside from just about everything else on the platform. This joins House of the Dead: Overkill, Mario Galaxy, Madworld and No More Heroes as being one of the five games that actually make it worth buying a Wii.

I don't think that the grave has yet been dug for 2D visuals in games. I hope that developers continue to harness current technology for more than just rendering thick-necked marines and creating games where 'the city itself is a character'. I'm looking at you, the developers of Prototype. I swear, if I hear that fucking soundbite from any other developer in the future then I will either A) Kick them square in the balls or B) Not buy their game on principle. Both if possible. It's not a character, it's an environment.

Rant over. 2D is nice.

The Faux Bot reviews need to become more about games reviewers

“We're on the verge of an exciting reinvention of journalism enabled by personal publishing. The transition will be tumultuous and even painful, but the result will be well worth the effort.” Paul Gillin, social media consultant and author, 2007

“Print is dead” – Egon Spengler, Ghostbusters, 1984

When websites such as exist, you know journalism is an industry at best struggling to get up to speed with the rest of the world. At worst, commentators and society are conducting the last rites over a moulding pile of newsprint, borne by paperboys and saluted with the final clack of a typewriter.

Newshounds should know that Rupert Murdoch is attempting to put the cat back in the bag with his subscription-based model for premium news content, while the expansion to a 24-hour news drive has seen journalists axed and papers swept aside.

Obviously, his plan will fail, and fail badly. After all, why read a whole publication when you only need a page? Why pay for information – which used to be worth its weight in gold but now is worth less than a PR-tinted version of the truth – when you can just click on another site and get it for free?

The ramifications of someone willing to produce an equal amount of content for free in their own free time out of their bedroom, or write about their passion with more knowledge than a journalist forced to learn on the spot, are wide reaching, and are no more keenly felt than in the games journalism industry.

One look at the circulation figures for games magazines ( shows we are soon going to be in a world without them. Some of the official ones will hang on, albeit it in a more games-company controlled manner, but what of the rest?

After all, the internet, home to innovation and content, embraced games reporting as a prodigal son. Mountains of brand new video, photo content and breaking games news on every little feature is available at the touch of a button – and right below it, the message board so the flame wars can be fanned, WAARGARBL can well and truly be spouted and the SERIOUS BUSINESS of internet arguing can occur

Why buy a magazine at all? But I’m going to throw one more caveat into a doomsday scenario Peter Sellers would be proud of.

(Hushed silence at controversial statement)

Why read games reviews any more?

(baby starts crying, a hysterical woman screams and an uncomfortable murmur ripples around the room)

“It certainly appears that Edge got what they wanted out of this traffic obviously...” Zorda2097, responding to Edge’s Killzone 2 review
Without delving too far into the review process in regards to scoring (a problem we will handily circumnavigate for a future piece) no-one really trusts games reviews any more. The rap-sheet reads like a shopping list: Exclusive reviews being given only for the return of high scores a la Batman: Arkham Asylum (rumoured); Magazines accused of bias for zigging when everyone else zagged (Edge and Killzone 2 / Resistance 2), and official magazines being nothing more than glorified adverts.

Plus why read a glut of reviews when metacritic can tell you with their magical aggregated number whether you should buy something or not? See how it all comes together…lower page clicks + untrusted sources = DOOM for games journalism as we know it.

It may be an exaggeration, true, but just like newspapers, games journalism will need to work out how to draw in the readers – and with a page click producing a lot less advertising revenue than a publication, it will need to be a loyal reader base too.

My solution? Personalities. You examine the worlds of arts, or film, or music, which have pushed their journalists to the forefront of their coverage. Everyone knows the NME writer you hate the opinion of, the film critic who must have their podcast downloaded immediately, and the writing is all the better for it.

But games journalism has always had a more anonymous sheen to it. Websites like feature their writer’s image on their features and top tens, but it magically disappears for their reviews. Scores are debated by the teams before they are published, and bylines are tucked away. It’s always the magazine, or the website, which offers the definitive word, not that journalist.

And I think games journalism would be all the better for being able to put the face to the review. Bill Abner is the authority on American sports games reviews simply because that market’s rabid fans – the types who would click a blog hourly (£££) to get in depth updated impressions – know every other site chucks a random writer at those games. They won’t know the nuances from year to year, won’t know the history, and their writing is all the poorer for it. But Bill is obsessed, and it shows (go to to see what I mean).

The Roger Eberts of this world can release compendiums of their reviews, because people buy into their work so strongly they would re-read the most throwaway comment. The Charlie Brookers can expand their presence in every conceivable direction because people devour his turns of phrase and misanthropic view. They don’t criticise The Guardian for having a bleak view of the world, they chuckle at the angry man being angry.

Who would you rather trust?

And it is those qualities – obsession, great writing, strong personalities – that people will still buy into, will still cherish and not treat as an irritating click through.
Journalism is waking up to a world where it, and the information it conveys, is truly no longer special. When a “civilian” could write a piece that would destroy the entire output of a magazine. When a tweet can carry more importance than a paper. It’s up to journalism to face up to that fact. Are they going to chop down that tree for the big fire so the bean counters can keep warm? Or are they going to carve faces out of it, and let it become their totem?


Friday, 7 August 2009

The Split-Screen Street Fighter Tournament: Update!

Just so you all know what's going on: Nafunk has sadly had to drop out for the time being due to not being able to get on Live. So, instantly Bojack gains 2 more points as does Prof Membrain seeing as he would be fighting Nafunk in the next round. Nafunk, it's a shame to lose you mate, hopefully you'll be good in a week to participate in the second rounds. Either way, you still have our respect for being what is commonly refered to as 'A Trooper'.

With that said, I now wish to formally announce that IT IS FUCKING AWWWWWWWN! AND I DON'T JUST MEAN 'ON', I MEAN 'AWWWWWWWN!' WITH 7 W'S. THAT'S RIGHT, 7, COUNT THEM. 7. YOU KNOW THAT MEANS WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS! Just go fight whoever it is you are yet to fight and keep watch on here for the updated table. Thanks for sticking around gents.


The Motherfucking Faux Bot

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Web Gems.

Check it out, someone's hard work I can show you with nearly no effort:

Pretty neat. It originally came from - an odd little site that did turn up a few other gems, including a collection of 8-bit related pictures HERE. Lots in there to enjoy folks.

Go there and enjoy his post, if you like you can imagine I spent many hours trawling for those pictures and praise me as though I did. Even though I didn't. He/she did ('Mimz'). But I'll take the second hand praise. On Mimz's behalf.


Tuesday, 4 August 2009

New Left 4 Dead content

Valve have announced a new DLC pack for Left 4 Dead that is slated to be released sometime in September. The pack, titled 'Crash Course' will mainly comprise of a streamlined versus mode component and most importantly a whole new campaign level.

Now, with what happened in regards to Left 4 Dead 2 (you know, the whole fanboy war/online petition stuff) I'm going to be incredibly diplomatic for once. I'm reserving my judgement. The reason being that this content is free, only for those on the PC version. XBOX Live users have to pay 560 MS Points for the pleasure. Strikes me as a little weird that half the fans get it free and the others don't. I'm hoping that this is genuine miscommunication, but it's more likely that it's an underhanded attempt at starting a flamewar equalling in more page hits for Shacknews.

Wait and see, and for god's sake, don't go signing any online petitions.

The Faux Bot

Monday, 3 August 2009

.........time waits for no man

Just a quick update for anyone who's getting as antsy as I am about this round of the Street Fighter tournament taking so damn long. We have Bojack85 and Nafunk to blame, who have yet to get their shit together. Boys, sort it out, before I start threatening you with forfeit losses.


The Faux Bot

Sunday, 2 August 2009

The Split-Screen rating system explained

I've always shied away from doing reviews here because most of you guys play the same games as me, usually at the same time. As such, giving my two cents would just be irrelevant. However, I have to accept that we will be doing some now and again and seeing as I have some iPhone/iPod Touch games lined up to review later I thought it best to get a rating system in order. I call it:

The Eggfron System (TM)

The The Eggfron System (TM) is not commonly employed in the games review arena, but what with there being so much quibbling over review scores and how arbitrary the numbers assigned to them are nowadays, this highly visual and unique system seems all the more appropriate.

So, what is The Eggfron System (TM)? It is a scale of brilliance that comprises the following awards:

EggAn egg is a perfectly acceptable object. It is clean, simple and versatile. It can hold many deeper meanings; it represents the creation of life and the ability to sustain it. But it doesn't, because it's just an egg. We eat them and occasionally, throw them. An egg is so-so, alright, standard, middle-of-the-road. Reserved for when a game is nothing more then 'alright'.

Fried Egg

When you fry an egg, you begin to realize it's true potential. A fried egg is compact, stable and maintains a runny yolk. It can be put in a sandwich or on top of some Gammon. In short, it is the best way to cook an egg and represents a much higher quality of game.

Golden Egg

If you have a Golden Egg then you are sitting pretty my friend. Moguls, tycoons and big-shot celebrities pay top coin for a Golden Egg. Why? Because it's gold. Once you have sold your egg, then you can employ a live-in chef to make you the perfect fried egg on a daily basis. This would be amazing and so, this award represents the finest games known to man.

Zac Efron

Look at 'him'. He has the face of a lady but the body of a Navy Seal. What a little prick. This street-walking ladyboy is a confused mess of identities and represents everything that is wrong with our society. He is a turd. Lovingly sculpted though he may be, he is still sculpted out of turd. I am not a fan of Zac Efron, so it is only fair that his girlish, perma-tanned face and permed eyelashes represents only the lowest quality games. The dire, the abysmal, the Space Giraffes of this world.

That's that cleared up then.

The Faux Bot