Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Face it dude, you're in love with a dude.


It's a harsh reality than some unfortunate males have had to deal with: you're eyeing up some broad, you may even cop a feel, and then you realise. It's a dude. That fine piece of ass that you were going to take home is packing more meat than you. What do you do now? Walk away embarrassed, or refuse to throw away all that ground work and live a life of denial, insisting that anal wasn't the only choice, it's just what you fancied that night. That sort of denial isn't healthy. You knew she had a rod. You probably even gave her a reach-around. You enjoyed it, that's fine: this is the twenty-first century after all. Gender is meaningless.

This is meant to serve as a wake-up call for all of you that spent this afternoon fapping over Final Fight's Poison and Roxy. They are dudes. Officially. Street Fighter 4 producer and Capcom luminary Yoshinori Ono said so himself [source]. So face it - you've got a boner for a dude and depending on what country you're from she's either still got that thing down there, or had it turned inside-out. When Final Fight was first ported to home consoles, Capcom deemed it inappropriate to be cutting, smacking and piledriving innocent, fragile streetwalking whores. So, to avoid controversy, they changed Poison's -and consequently Roxy's- back story so that he/she was a post-op transsexual. Inexplicably, In Japan she just 'tucks it away' kinda like Marylin Manson.


I'm not going to deny that the denim cut-offs, high heels, long legs and magnificent cans are enticing, but just remember what's in those shorts. A great, big, ugly wang.

If you really need more proof: NSFW

1 comment:

vandalworks said...

http://kotaku.com/5519626/snag-final-fights-awesome-remixed-soundtrack

download the final fight soundtrack. you know you want to.

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