I'm seriously considering buying a Wii now, simply because Monster Hunter Tri looks so badass. It's a game in which you kill huge fucking dragons and then use their body parts/hides to make killer armour and weapons. This is possibly the best concept for a game ever, yet it seems that Capcom are intent on limiting it's audience. Putting them out on the Wii and the PSP just seems counter-productive to me, but maybe I've just got my knickers in a twist because right now I'm not able to wrangle sea monsters onto dry land, beat the crap out of them and use their nutsack as a shield.
This sort of thing is really starting to bother me. Why isn't there some sort of almighty power reading all of these posts and then just sorting things out so that the world pleases me? Is that really so much to ask? I've been plugging away at this blogging thing for a good while now and I've had my fair share of rants and made numerous wish-lists. So I'm calling on you, almighty Internet deity: make this happen. Monster Hunter on either 360 or PS3 in the West and then if you have time, make a patch for Mass Effect 2 that allows me to rail Yeoman Chambers.
This is a pretty solid rumour now. After the successes of Street Fighter 4 and Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom, this was pretty much guaranteed, barring licensing issues. The same guy that leaked the whole cast for Super Street Fighter 4 last year -he was right about every character-has said it's happening. He even got banned from the shoryuken.com boards for doing so. Keep an eye on him for other leaks. Here's his Twitter
Apparently it will run using a similar engine to that seen in Street Fighter 4. For all you non (true) believers out there; get ready, because when they announce this my dick is gonna spray like a fountain and you're going to hear all about it. What's that? You thought I'd already made all the possible nerd/boner/jizz fountain analogies? Oh, how wrong you are....
If you needed more convincing that Super Street Fighter 4 was going to be the raddest thing to happen to gaming ever, then Capcom has the answer in the form of it's print advertising campaign. Getting together with some of the biggest names in contemporary graphic design and graffiti, Capcom have produced a unique set of posters boasting the game's new feature sets and showing off some of the new characters. 123Klan, Dalek, Futura, Cody Hudson and Grotesk have all contributed. Seems like Capcom have done their homework. Futura fans tend to have massive disposable incomes, you should see the prices that guy charges for scribbling on military jackets.... However, I digress. Futura has skill got it, I loved Grotesk's artwork for The Cool Kids and 123 Klan are so cool they'll make you reconsider the French. The ads will run in Complex and Vice amongst other publications- this is some smart marketing, hitting the borderline hipsters right where it hurts. Enjoy radness:
If it's true, then thank Christ that GRIN went under. That company produced some downright terrible games - Wanted: Weapons of Fate, Terminator Salvation and not forgetting how they ruined Bionic Commando. Thinking about what they did to Bionic Commando, I breathe a huge sigh of relief, just knowing that now they can't do the same thing to Strider. The original Strider was an awesome game that had everything going on: sick character design, badass futuristic Russians, insane bosses and distinctive sound effects. You know, all the things that used to make games rad before the industry got a hard-on for so-called 'realism'.
This sketch taken from an online portfolio of an ex GRIN staff member shows design sketches that are heavily reminiscent of Strider. Couple that with the fact that Capcom already allowed them to ruin one awesome licence and it seems fairly likely that GRIN were on-track to tread on even more of my childhood memories.
With that in mind, I'd like to express my best wishes to now-unemployed GRIN staff members and their families, that is unless they were working on ruining Strider, or worked on ruining Bionic Commando. Fuck those guys, they got what they deserved.
I don't remember the exact day that I became so obsessed with Street Fighter 4. It certainly wasn't from the beginning and it's not a recent development, but it's still difficult to place all the same. Whenever that moment was, it's clear that my obsession is going from strength to strength when I thoughtlessly get in on Capcom's marketing hype by asking 'Who's beating up Chunners?'
I have to know. There's no logical way of dissecting this screenshot though, right? It could be Ken for all we know, but at least we get to see a nice new level. A very Final Fight-esque level: the kind that Rolento would hang out in, maybe. Anyone have any thoughts? As always, I'm holding out for the man, the legend - Mike Haggar.
Oh, look. Here's Dudley:
Gotta love 'leaked' screenshots!
Update: Jackie Chan does Street Fighter. Cross-dressing Chun Li Chan just made my day.
Attributing memories to facets of popular culture is by no means strange behaviour in this age. Undoubtedly we all associate certain emotions and memories with particular books, music, films and of course, games. Throughout my childhood, one genre stuck with me and continues to have a profound effect on me even now. My undying love for the scrolling beat-em-up is what made me cream in my shorts the first time I saw Castle Crashers or the first time I saw the animations of Paul Robertson. These games come from the time that made Capcom and Konami the giants that they are today. They made games that defined my childhood and for that, I will be eternally grateful. Without further ado, I want to share some of my favourite games with you and the memories that are linked to them.
The Simpsons (Arcade) by Konami
Before I became a stereotypical postmodern smart-arse, The Simpsons was pure comedy because Homer was silly and Bart was rad. Whilst this seems like a cheap, obscure cash-in now, back then I cared not about how this game simply didn't fit with the genius of the show's writing. I was young and didn't care. Right on. No matter how snobbish I get though, I cannot repress my love for this game. Just watching the playthrough and listening to the theme tune rendered in just sixteen bits brings back fond memories of the time I spent in the seaside arcades of Tenby. I cared not for seaside trinkets or souveniers. I converted whatever money I was given into fifty pence coins and went hell for leather. My parents were always disappointed that I never had 'much to show' for my time spent on holidays. Shows what they knew.
My love for The Simpsons leads on wonderfully to the next game in this nostalgia trip. I never had Satellite TV, so my only exposure to The Simpsons before it hit BBC2 and Channel 4 was renting the videos from the now sadly departed Clubs Video. Situated just a short walk from my house, Clubs Video was the best place in the world next to Tenby. Not only could I rent Simpsons videos, but I could also get a 20p mix-up and play on their arcade cabinet:
Cadillacs and Dinosaurs (Arcade) by Capcom
I had no idea where the hell this game came from. I have since learned that it was based upon a series of comic books created by Mark Schultz. Apparently it had figures, chocolate bars and a TV Series, but my only exposure to the licence was the Capcom arcade game. It took the standard Final Fight template, but mixed it up with vehicle sections and the fact that you could punch a raptor in the face. My love of all things post-apocalyptic could have been subconsciously spawned by this game as watching the playthrough now has me fawning over the decaying cityscapes and Road Warrior character stylings.
Sunset Riders (Arcade) by Konami
My local Leisure Centre was hardly a 'hot spot' for video games, what with it being the kind of place that should be encouraging kids to be more physically active. However, they still saw fit to sell trays of chips stacked to the heavens and have an arcade cabinet nestled between the vending machines. That cabinet just happened to house Sunset Riders.
Just as much of a shooter as it was a brawler, Konami's Sunset riders took a bold direction: moving the scrolling beat-em-up out of the familiar territories of dystopian American cities and licensed properties, and took it into the wild west of our father's youths. Chip-greased buttons and frantic yells as we ran on top of the stampedes were the order of the day and how could I forget "bury me with my money" which possibly made me piss myself twice as hard now as it did then.
Guardian Heroes (Saturn) by Treasure
One of the first pieces I ever bullied Bojack into writing here was his very own love letter to this somewhat forgotten gem. Whilst this came along a lot later in my life and it wasn't housed within an arcade cabinet, it still brings back fond memories. Countless Saturdays were spent watching Bojack beast this game. I would hardly ever play, but we would both stare at a 14 inch portable TV for hours on end, until my head was pounding from the eye strain. I adore this game, not just for it's superb design, but also because it reminds me of good times with one of my brothers.
The game's legacy lives on through The Behemoth's Castle Crashers. Crashers is in many ways a spiritual sequel, taking on Guardian Heroes weapons, levelling and RPG elements and reconfiguring them with a genuine sense of affection. The game featured sublime animation, character design and music and is easily my most sought-after title. As soon as I get my hands on that Saturn, I'll be hunting for this game morning, noon and night.
I'm sure there are games out there that hold special sentiment for all of us. This was but a small selection of mine and barring some sort of backlash for my outpouring of sentimentality, this will be one of many such features.
Why do you visit this site? I can guess that your answer falls into one of two categories:
1. I bullied you into doing it. 2. You love to read my ridiculous sweeping generalisations and witness my frequent, over-opinionated U-turns.
Well friends, may I present you with a thorough lashing of the former.
I've taken just about every opportunity available to get across my point that I think the Japanese have totally fucked this generation up, in software terms at least. By that I mean that western developers seem to be consistently trumping them, no matter which console they develop for. One game- other than Street Fighter 4- may be the one that has me seeing the error of my ways; that game, is Lost Planet 2.
I was mildly interested in Lost Planet 2 when I heard of it's announcement, being a fan of the first and generally being a fan of any game that has robot suits. Looking at Lost Planet 2, it's unique art design, stunning dystopian environments and over sized bosses, I start to think that this is why people love developers like Capcom. In short, this is what Japanese developers SHOULD be doing.
The other feeling that I get from watching this footage, is that I remember being promised a game with such scale and intensity last year. That game was Gears of War 2. As fantastic a game as it is, Gears 2 only shows you it's sense of scale, never really immerses you in it. When you take down that huge boss, you're frozen behind a helicopter's turret, when there's a war going on, you're stuck on top of a moving platform called Betty.
My favourite part of Gears 2 was chainsawing that worm's arteries. All decorum aside: that shit was fucking rad! But I'm looking at the Lost Planet 2 boss footage, replete with it's semi-ironic glowing weak spots and thinking "you know what would be cooler? If I could hook that motherfucker in the eye, get on his back, like some proper Starship Troopers shit! WOOO!" ....ahem, sorry.
The other thing that bothered me about Gears 2 was it's 'story'. Those guys have emotions? I thought they were the ultimate badass space marine types. I guess they wanted 'depth'. Point is, most storytelling and game characters are rubbish and it often sullies a good time. Lost Planet 2 will probably have some story, but you're not a character, just an empty avatar.
I've got a whole series of things planned concerning the importance of character coming this week, so stay tuned if you want to chip in or just listen to me going on some more. More to the point though, it'll make it all the more clearer as to just why I think having an editable, non-specific avatar in Lost Planet 2's single player campaign is another one of it's major strengths.
To summarise: Lost Planet 2 = RAD and I've done another U-Turn.
That title doesn't just refer to my return to posting, but also to the fact that something cool just got announced. MAX PAYNE 3! Darn tootin'. I never saw this one coming, I guess I should have after the movie, which probably enjoyed some moderate success and helped to bankroll another game.
Lately I've had a lot of disappointment (I'm looking at you Resident Evil 5). Games so often start out well for me these days, all impressive with their HD biceps and glistening textures. Then the veneer begins to peel and a realise that I've been here before, a million times and I deserve better. In most cases it's easy to just let bygones be bygones and accept that the world is made up of a million different views, but when it comes to gaming I somehow can't back down. I get this horrible feeling that if we all keep gobbling up whatever the masters pour into our trough and never seriously question it's quality, then we'll keep getting fed the same old bullshit. I enjoy Resident Evil 5, but to call it a 'current-gen' game is an insult. I was happy enough playing it, until the surprising wisdom of my wino father showed me the light. And I quote: "It looks pretty, like, but I've seen it all before." And so have I. Countless times I've fought those generic bosses, wielded those tried-and-tested weapons and guided those 2-dimensional 'heroes'.
Nowadays, I'm going to start expecting to be disappointed. Optimism doesn't work kids, at least not in the gaming world. Dan Houser, I will hold you personally responsible if come this winter, you deliver me Max Payne HD. Simply put, don't fuck this up Rockstar.
Another point before I go: With Capcom now challenging Scamco Bandai in the dirty thief DLC field, I think it's only fair that they be re-branded as either Capcunt or Cuntcom. Charging for a difficulty level in Mega Man 9, unlock keys for SFIV costumes and omitting Resi's multiplayer for an additional fee are their most recent crimes. Utter cunts.
Surely it's not just me that thinks this whole DLC thing is getting a little out of hand. I'm all for it, or at least I would be if I could cite any good examples of it. Whenever someone mentions the term, all I can think about is how Namco Bandai use it to describe the unlock keys you pay for in their games. Beautiful Katamari and Soul Calibur 4 have a load of DLC available, all of it criminaly overpriced. The worst part is that the so-called downloadable content is already on the disc(s), Scamco simply charges you for the privilege of unlocking it. If that isn't criminal, then I don't know what is, robbing a bank or something, presumably.
One poor young man decided to take issue with Capcom pulling a similar stunt, by charging for an unlockable difficulty level for Mega Man 9. This is another horribly shitty business practice and the kid, albeit foolishly, tried to rage against the machine. Destructoid have been less than kind to him, which is a shame. Jim Sterling cites the best way to fight it is just simply to 'not buy it'. But when you know they simply carved off a chunk of the game that already existed and then tried to sell it to you as a separate product, you may get a tad frustrated.
Let's face it, the kid may be dumb and yes, perhaps sound a little 'whiny' but Capcom are the real fuckers here. Way to shaft your fans guys. Online co-op in Resi 5 to cost an extra fiver? Probably.
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