Fallout: New Vegas (cock) teaser

I know that the majority of us here are avid fans of Fallout 3 - I, myself, have sank at least 140 hours into that particular abyss and I've still got objectives left to complete. Like most other fans, I always want more, so the announcement of Fallout: New Vegas last year - a game that would supposedly follow in the footsteps of Fallout 3 without being a sequel per say- was enough to get my rod hard.

Today, Bethesda released this short teaser trailer, one that is heavily reminiscent of the teaser for Fallout 3 (you know, the awesome one that pans out from the bus radio). That trailer for Fallout 3 perfectly captured, and consequently set, the tone for the whole game. This new trailer, assuming it's meant to do the same, leaves me a little bemused at the tone for New Vegas. This should have me going crazy with anticipation, but I really don't give a shit. Maybe I'm getting old. What do you all make of it? The trailer, that is. Not my mood.

Token Gestures' end of year/new year picks

Well it has been a while since I did anything of worth, but I’m somehow in the mood to help out. Call it the season of good will or something. So here is my season in review, by season read 2009. Here are the five games that seemed to have attracted me the most in the past twelve months. Granted some of them may be a little off but I speak as I find, so here goes:

1.    NHL 10: This franchise just gets better and better, and this years’ instalment is no different. A beautifully made game that plays as true to the sport as any game I have seen. Each year they add new features and tweaks that keep this far and away above the other EA Sports titles. Yes there are a few issues like the twats that exploit glitches online but I’m yet to see any game sort that out so it really isn’t a knock on this one in particular, the franchise mode also needs a little work to get it more involving but these are small criticisms on a great sports game, sure to keep you playing after the season is over.

2. Resident Evil 5: I’m a sucker for this franchise too, yes the game wasn’t exactly reflective of the previous titles puzzle solving brain melters(tm) but it was a well made, beautiful game that seemed to fall short in a lot of people’s eyes. I however loved it, and spent a very long time in front of it battling Las Plagas in a battle to stop the evil Wesker. Gameplay was good and the continued use of the Resident Evil 4 over the shoulder camera angle was far easier on gameplay than the older, yet more terrifyingly set camera positions. The story continued well and did what it needed to, bringing back our original Chris Redfield, although he did look a bit too much of a tank in it. All we need now is for Resident Evil 6 to have Barry in it and I’m in zombie heaven.

3. Fallout 3-The Pitt: Okay it’s not a “real” game but this DLC was fantastic, once they sorted out the bug that plagued it on release. Not a lot needs to be said about this as it is Fallout and we all know how amazing a piece of art this was. Post-apocalyptia is here to stay, just ask Viggo Mortensen. Anyway I digress, this add-on encapsulated what the original game was all about, shades of grey never seemed so interesting, and those creepy trogs were great. All in all the best add-on they released for Fallout.

4. Modern Warfare 2: So I haven’t touched the single player and the sniper rifles are still infuriating in the multiplayer but it is MW2. The game you can lose your life to by just replying the same 10-12 maps. The “I don’t care if you keep sniping me I’ll get you and fuck you up eventually” mindset has never been stronger. These may all seem like negatives, and to an extent they are, but that one kill is worth it. Very much like the game of golf, you live for that perfect shot.

5. Football Manager 2010/ Out of the Park Baseball 10: I know what you’re thinking but I enjoy Excel spreadsheets as much as the next man, and spreadsheets don’t come more compelling than the Football Manager series. If all spreadsheets interested you so much maybe the bankers wouldn’t have dropped the ball on the economy, but they can go back home knowing that their beloved Walsall will be as they left them. Out of the Park Baseball uses the same engine and style but, believe it or not revolves around baseball. Both games have taken up a large chunk of my life and time this year, and as I write this my Leeds United team are playing in the background against the mighty Notts County. A must own for any number fanatic.

I’m not saying 2009 was a great year for games but I managed to get by on what I had to work with. I’m just hoping 2010 will keep me from having to resort to exercise like 2009 did. So here is a quick preview of my 2010 hit list:

1. Mass Effect 2: I’m ploughing through Mass Effect in an attempt to a) complete the game finally and b) remember what the hell was going on. Using the saves from the first game intrigues me and presses me on to finish it. I just hope all the buildings and planets are not all identical aside from different colours this time round. First game on my shopping list for this year.

2. Fallout: New Vegas: It’s Fallout, enough said...Right Viggo?

3. Resident Evil 5 DLC: We get two new instalments to the game this year, and in my opinion the first is what should have been released instead of that hideous multiplayer monstrosity that they did release. It’s set around the back story of Chris and Jill searching for Ozwell E. Spencer, the other follows the other duo after you split from them. I’ve kept that vague in case anyone wants to play through it without the really crap surprise being ruined.

4. Final Fantasy XIII: It’s a FF game and you know what it will entail, albeit with a different combat system apparently, but it is still pretty much a must buy. Time will tell whether they should have kept it turn based.

5.  Heavy Rain: I’m a firm believer in some of your dreams being unattainable, and this game marks one of those. Pretty much the only reason I would buy a PS3, but it won’t happen, I’m far too stubborn.

I wanted to put Kane and Lynch in here but we all know we will be lucky to see it before the next summer Olympics. Well my Leeds United just won 2-0 so I’m off to bullock them for not scoring more. I’m far better at this than Rafa Benitez.

 Cheers

Hype-Pipe: Borderlands

With the recent delays of some of the games I've been excited to get my hands on in the next few months such as Bioshock 2, Bayonetta, and Splinter Cell Conviction, the latter causing me to find it difficult to get hyped about most of the other releases coming out as I had my heart set on stepping back into Sam Fisher's shoes. Sure there's Modern Wafare 2, Left 4 Dead 2, Assasains Creed 2, and Mass Effect 2, all of which I will be purchasing, but as you can obviously notice the pattern of sequels we can all expect more of the same from their previous counterparts. I want something new to play and I can't wait till December for Saboteur, but luckily for me, and you lot of course, I found such a game in Gearbox's Borderlands.

Borderlands is the bastard lovechild of the RPG and FPS genres and the nearest thing I can compare it to so you can get a rough idea is Fallout 3, but where Fallout 3 was a straight-up RPG that had shooting elements, also you wasn't confined to playing it as a FPS, Borderlands is a first person shooter first that also happens to contain all the main aspects of a RPG such as an in-depth character development system and the levelling up of skills and experience, Gearbox President Randy Pitchford has even stated in an interview that he got his inspiration for the RPG elements form the classic PC-Game Diablo, a game I can't recommend highly enough to you all, and for those that have played it you can get a rough idea of how the leveling up syestem will work.

Borderlands is set in a world that can only be described as the wild west meets Mad Max with the visual style of Crackdown and your first task when starting the game is to choose one of the four character classes. There's Roland the soldier whos expertise is weapons such as assualt rifles and shotguns, he can also deploy shields with gun turrets. Then we have Mordecai, a sniper who is extremely agile and comes equipped with a sword for close combat and a pet called Bloodwing who can also devolp skills as you level up. Next up is a siren called Lilith, a mage-like character explained by alien influences in this game, who has special abilities such as the "Phase Walk" which allows her to become cloaked for a certain durtion. Finally theres Brick, the tank of the group, his expertise is heavy weapons and his mammoth mitts that he can dish out a great deal of damage with when using his "Beserker Blood Rage" ability.

After picking your character you can choose to play through the campaign, which roughly takes 15 hours, thats without counting the 120 side missions and quests, and once you have fully completed the campaign you can start all over from scratch keeping all your stats and current equipment. Whats the point you ask? Well just like in Diablo the whole point is to horde money and the best items and as you level-up the more chance you have of getting the best weapons and items out of the possible 16 million....yes you read correctly 16 MILLION!!!. Using the games innovative Gearbuilder system, the games AI creates specific models of each weapon using different grips, magazines, barrel lengths, stock types, silencers, as well as extra special accesories such incendiary devices. In an early reveal to the press Randy Pitchford opened up a debug menu to show that there was just 2.5 million shotguns in the game.

Borderlands also has a 4 player drop-in/drop-out system at any point in the game, for example you can choose to start the game alone and if you get into some difficulties with some of the games larger and more difficult enemies ask a friend to drop in and help. There are drawbacks to this though, if you invite any higher level character into your game they will dish out more damage which means they can take out enemies quicker than you and mop up the experience points for themselves but its entirely your choice.

I wasn't exicited about Borderlands when it was first announced but when the game was delayed and then the new art style was unvieled earlier this year I was intrigued to say the least but with all the details about that game that has followed in the past few months, noticebly the comparisons to one of my favourite RPGs of all time, to say that I'm excited is understatement to how badly I want this game.Check out the trailer below and draw your own conclusions.

Video Games Borderlands SDCC 09: Extended Gameplay Trailer

XBox 360 Playstation 3 Nintendo Wii

Bojack85

The Fallout 3 Wasteland Survival Guide

Whether you're playing through for a second time, like myself, or you're just starting, it is worth baring in mind that Fallout 3 should not be taken lightly. It's the kind of game that keeps you up until 5 in the morning, causes minutes to turn into hours and occasionally, will make you forget the importance of peeing.

Considering myself a 'seasoned' player, I thought that I should share some of my knowledge with you. This guide will not so much help you survive within the game, but help you survive in the real world as you play it. Take heed of my warnings and listen closely, for many nuggets of wisdom shall be falling from my mouth.

Chapter 1: Essential Supplies

COFFEE.Drinking alot of coffee is an admirable and upstanding vice to have. Coffee tastes amazing, stimulates your bowels and helps you to wake up. What's not to like? Coffee will help you remain sharp, stay awake for longer and regulate your 'toilet times', making it the perfect stimulant for long sessions exploring the wasteland. I personally recommend that you filter your own - Jamaican Blue Mountain if you have it. If not, prolonged drinking will allow you to develop an obsession so severe, that seeking out such a level of quality will become a top priority. Enjoy your addiction, friend.

BOTTLED WATER.


The problem with Coffee is that it isn't very hydrating. Keep some bottled water handy just in case. Note the importance of having it in a bottle - this makes you feel a bit more like a survivor and enhances your experience.

BRIGHT COLOURS/SOMETHING NICE.


Playing Fallout 3 for too long may result in mild depression, stemming from the bleakness and brutality that you face in the Capital Wasteland. Stave off this feeling with a flashcard featuring some neon colours or a picture of cute animals. A combination of the two is preferable, but a glance at either will remind you that the real world isn't quite as bleak.

ANYTHING BY KYUSS.



Whilst there are many things that make Kyuss an amazing band, perhaps my favourite part is that they sound like they come from the desert. Their music has provided me with the perfect accompaniment for the wasteland, setting the tone whenever I've tired of 3-Dog or President Eden. Pick any album, really, but my personal favourite is Welcome to Sky Valley.

LOUNGE PANTS.


If you don't own a pair of 'lounge pants' or pyjama bottoms, I highly recommend that you go invest in a pair right now. Always comfortable and stylish, the lounge pant has all the benefits of regular trousers, combined with all the benefits of your regular underwear. Sitting around for hours on end is made all the more comfortable with some fantastic lounge pants. They also afford you easy access to your tackle, should you find time to go to the toilet. Perhaps the best part though, is that no matter how comatose you become, there is no danger of someone walking in on you, with your balls hanging out. You know what I mean, right? You're focusing on the game, your ball pops out and you don't notice until a horrified family member or disgusted girlfriend walks in. Seriously, I cannot stress the importance of lounge pants.

Well, that's it for Chapter 1, I'll be back with Chapter 2 as soon as I decide what it should be. Suggestions desperately needed, comment below.

The Faux Bot

It's official: Fallout 3 is amazing.

It's come to my attention over the past couple of months that Fallout 3 just isn't for everyone. It's very much a game that you "get" or don't. Like a good Cronenberg movie, it asks a lot of it's audience, naturally, this divides the lovers and the haters. When people dislike the anything for which I have a particular fondness, I get very self-conscious and start to doubt my own opinion. Perhaps I am the one who doesn't "get it" and have been duped into enjoying myself. I always talk myself round, but today I was given an extra little boost.

• This week Charlie's dismal life continued its sorry descent as he spent the only spare minutes he had obsessively playing Fallout 3, an intensely dispiriting videogame in which you stagger around in a post-apocalyptic wasteland scrabbling for bits of metal and eating radioactive iguana meat in a desperate bid to survive: "What's worrying is that that's my idea of fun right now."

Fallout 3 is officially amazing because the heroic polymath that is Charlie Brooker is as obsessed with it as I am. Can you believe it!? I feel so, so.....validated! Brooker is responsible for Dead Set, Nathan Barley, TV go home and the best articles The Guardian has to offer, amongst several other works of genius. It's fair to say that I generally rate him and take his word as some sort of gospel. Oh shit, now I just realised where the whole "preacherman" concept came from. Ok, forget that then, Charlie Brooker is an absolute cunt.



I'm not making this up! (click)

The Faux Bot

Slamming up HYPE in yo' collective FACE!

Yes, you read that right. If you hadn't already heard, I'm around 70% ghetto, so unfortunately, this sort of thing tends to just slip out sometimes. But yes, I thought I'd treat you to a GTA IV hype round-up, but then I saw the light, realising that you have all probably already visited Gamesradar, Destructoid and IGN to see their hands-on multiplayer impressions, haven't you?

With that in mind, Let me direct your wanton hype-funnels in a less saturated direction. Firstly, some juicy, bite-sized morsels of info. have surfaced concerning the soon to be much-hyped Gears of War 2. Go read it here, then come back: http://www.gamesradar.com/xbox360/gears-of-war-2/news/gears-2-information-blowout-/a-20080408113242430015/g-2007031211164597054 sounds cool, right? Dynamic cover, Locust Shamans and a plethora of new, hyper-real comic book dropout characters that we all love to hate. What more do you want? A little depth maybe? Pfft.

Secondly, prise open your insatiable tube for the Castle Crashers Development Blog: http://devblog.thebehemoth.com/ Not that it ever looks like this game will actually ever come out, but we can always dream and continue to moisten ourselves in the meantime. I want this game more than any XBOX Live Arcade title ever, not just for the rough and tumble, deceptively simple, and wonderfully accessible gameplay, but because it reminds me of what it was like to play games as a child. Sitting with a friend to play Streets of Rage or Golden Axe, they were good times. Times filled with the kind of naive wonder that led to combining cola with orange juice and idolising your best friend's mother's absolutely fantastic corned beef sandwiches. To me, the development team over at The Behemoth seems to share that fondness for the past, and fully understand what made it so enjoyable.

Lastly, to wrap up, go drool here: http://fallout3.wordpress.com/2008/04/07/fallout-3-the-new-pictures-at-pcgamesde/. New Fallout 3 screenshots. Looks amazing. Can't Wait. Sleep now. Becoming increasingly aware that my words sound as if spoken by Rorschach. Legs tired. Go watch Young Ones in bed. Bye. Must get better lock on door. I like sugar cubes. Etc. Apologise for overwhelming amount of sexual imagery.

The Faux-Bot