JRPGs in 2010: The Last Story

With FFXIII coming and going, it's only natural to think ahead to what JRPGs are on the horizon for the rest of 2010. It seems the Wii will be playing more of a part in our lives this year, and Jim sterling has provided good food for thought with a positive Wii article a few weeks ago laying out what we can expect from the Nintendo machine in the coming months. Most encouraging from said article is his conclusion that 'a number of Japanese developers are starting to recognize some potential for the Wii to become a PS2-like mecca of JRPG experiences'. It does seem we'll be trading HD environments for a more traditional open-world, questing experience but I don't think this would put any fans off. In fact it'll bring many deserters back to the fold. No fan of art and story would shun a larger catalogue of JRPGs based on the fact they didn't all look like the uber-mega-blu-ray edition of Lord of the Rings. Things can be beautiful without being high-def.

Of the three titles mentioned for the Wii this year (Arc Rise Fantasia, Xenoblades and The Last Story) the eye is immediately drawn to Nintendo/Mistwalker's The Last Story's artwork.


Looks a little like Final Fantasy with a hint of Fable, yes? Details are a little slim and the official website is in Japanese ( and flash, which renders auto-translators helpless) but fortunately some people can translate. I sure hope this person can translate otherwise I'm bringing you his LIES. I'm sure its fine:

'- characters from last night's art update [below] are the main character and heroine
- "There is a wall between the two," says the director, meaning that something is keeping these two apart
- expect multiple stories in the game, including
* The fear of speaking your true feelings
* The mystery of the father who went missing on boat
* The difficulty a leader has in making decisions
* The close accomplice who's turned to evil
* The foolish archaeologist's prison break'

This ticks all the classic boxes as you'd expect, and any game that claims to incorporate 'the fear of speaking your true feelings' sounds like it has depth and has my interest .


If The Last Story turns out to be anywhere near as good as Mistwalker's Lost Odyssey I'm going to have to get a Wii. I can't manage my time as it is, so a third console is definitely what I need. Hopefully we'll have some trailers soon.

There are some JRPG titles out this year for those other 2 consoles- you know the ones, but to prevent this piece spiralling out of control they'll have to wait for a separate post.

The Faux Bot's next-gen dream console

All this talk of Xboxes with the Blu-Rayz has got me thinking about how I wish I could just meld my consoles together - not just because switching the HDMI cable around is getting on my tits, but because my unit hosts so many peripherals and cables right now that I crave simplicity. This got me thinking about the consoles of the future and how if anybody actually listened to me, they would turn out. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a stark and somewhat frightening vision of a future that could be, as I present you with my dream console.



Behold! In the next generation, consoles will do everything! Just look at all those gubbins, all infinitely more useful than that rubbish Sky Player or a photo gallery app. I suppose that when they actually design it, they will find a way of perhaps scaling it down into one, convenient box. I'd be OK with that. Are you wondering about some of my additions? Wonder no more:

PS3, XBOX 360 and Wii:

These go without saying really. Whilst in all seriousness the idea of a united platform is terrible for the consumer, being able to have Madworld, Uncharted 2 and Left 4 Dead on one machine would be all sorts of awesome.

Teasmaid:

During long sessions of Call Of Duty 4, or any online multiplayer for that matter, I find myself always craving a cup of tea. Not wanting to leave, nor disturb my sleeping family with the rattling of cups, I always find myself left wanting. The Teasmaid is an amazing, self-contained tea-making machine AND alarm clock. Problem solved.

Fleshlight:

What with my dream console being able to do just about everything else for me, I thought it should probably be able to get me off as well. The inclusion of the Number 1 selling male sex toy is, in my humble opinion, an inspired stroke of genius.

Built-in projector:

Everyone has walls and my TV is broken. This is an all-purpose solution and a gift to the consumer. Standard HDMI-out and what not would also be included, just in case.

What do you think? Would you buy it? What inculsions have I missed?
Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo: I will be expecting my royalty cheque in the post.

Egg on yo' face

So, what did I get right about this year's E3 and the future of our beloved games consoles? Next to fuck all. Sorry, but can anyone honestly say that they were expecting the Final Fantasy bombshell? What was nice and predictable though was just how horrible and soul-sucking Nintendo's presentation was. Let me say it clearly, that I am all for the Wii. It's nice, simple and accessible and I think mothers and grandparents should be catered too. Its only fair. That said, I can only imagine the fanboy rage that Nintendo are bring upon themselves. This year's showing and the general direction for the company almost seems like one, big fuck you to all the faithful kids that kept Nintendo alive through the N64 and the Gamecube.

This video perfectly sums up Nintendo's showing this year, including Reggie Cheeseburger's blind optimism that his company still caters for 'core gamers', some mental 'soccer mom' bitch and Miyamoto doing his best to embody the phrase 'even a god can bleed'.





Reminds me of Chris Morris/Charlie Brooker.

The Faux Bot