Coolness officially bestowed upon Street Fighter

If you needed more convincing that Super Street Fighter 4 was going to be the raddest thing to happen to gaming ever, then Capcom has the answer in the form of it's print advertising campaign. Getting together with some of the biggest names in contemporary graphic design and graffiti, Capcom have produced a unique set of posters boasting the game's new feature sets and showing off some of the new characters. 123Klan, Dalek, Futura, Cody Hudson and Grotesk have all contributed. Seems like Capcom have done their homework. Futura fans tend to have massive disposable incomes, you should see the prices that guy charges for scribbling on military jackets....
However, I digress. Futura has skill got it, I loved Grotesk's artwork for The Cool Kids and 123 Klan are so cool they'll make you reconsider the French. The ads will run in Complex and Vice amongst other publications- this is some smart marketing, hitting the borderline hipsters right where it hurts.
Enjoy radness:

123KlanFutura

GroteskSee the rest over at the Capcom Unity blogs (source)

Nathan Drake is the coolest

It's official. Because we all said so. More features like this when I stop procrastinating.

Polls close tomorrow

Not had a chance to post much lately. Things are afoot though, so do not fear. For now, accept my apologies and know this: Nathan Drake and Gordon Freeman are tied for coolest character and not one of you fucks voted for Cody. I'll be closing the polls tomorrow so please vote if you haven't already or else I will be forced to do something creative and ingenious.

The Coolest Game Characters of All Time: Voting Time

I can't believe we actually ran a feature for a whole week. Can you!? I doubt it, but sometimes we just pull these amazing things out of our collective behind. Sorry. Enough of this silliness, there are votes to be cast!

All week long you've been hearing from us about how our chosen character is cooler than the next and I don;t mind saying that they have all been thouroughly convincing. If you didn't write your own piece, then this is your chance to voice your opinion. We had enough ideas to easily run another week of this, but I don't want to get delusions of grandeur and frankly, I'm sick of typing the word 'cool' - it's almost lost all meaning to me. If you think there really is someone that we criminally left out, just let us know in the comments- I've already had an ear-bashing over Duke Nukem's absence.

I know polls are a sensitive issue here so I'm going to say just one thing. There are no prizes to be won. Only fame and adoration for a fictional character, so remember: when you cheat, you only cheat yourself. Your mother would be ashamed.

The Coolest Game Characters of All Time: Cody Travers (Final Fight, Street Fighter series)

If you want to talk about cool game characters then there is really only one place you need look: the house that Capcom built. Capcom have been showing character designers the world over how it should be done for decades now. Their characters exude a simple, timeless charm that sees personalities expressed in small visual nuances ; whether it be Ken's irritating thumbs-up, Dan Hibiki's tears or Barry Burton's magnum.To stand out as the coolest amid the inherent coolness of your brothers and sisters is no mean feat and one that is achieved by only one character: Cody Travers.

Despite my increasingly vocal professions of love for Mike Haggar, it is undoubtedly Cody who is the coolest motherfucker in Final Fight. The classic James Dean white t-shirt and blue jeans, coupled with those fly 80's shell-toes makes Cody Travers the kind of dude that mayor Haggar is happy to see railing his daughter. His only goals in life are to get all up in Mad gear's shit and save his smoking-hot girlfriend. Looking good whilst he does it just comes naturally to him.


When Capcom retired Cody from the Final Fight series he told them where to shove it. After saving Metro City and his girlfriend he just couldn't settle down. Cody was built to fight, so that's what he continued to do. You have to admire a guy who knows his purpose and managed to brawl his way from one fighting series and into another. Getting imprisoned for his violent temperament is little more than a slight inconvenience; he frequently breaks out, seeking more opponents, only to return for a meal and a roof over his head whenever it suits him.

Cody's coolness is not so much determined by his actions, but rather his mannerisms and the style he exudes in everything that he does. Opening fights by taunting his opponents to see if they can finally do something about his boredom, still wearing those shell-toes with his prison garb and wearing those handcuffs when he has the key. What a swaggering bad-ass.

Throughout this whole week of coolness, I can see no-one else that I would rather be. Cody is nonchalant about fights when I simply panic and by playing as him I effectively become cooler. If, like me, you think coolness is all about the style and the swagger, then Cody Travers has got it down to a fine art.

The Coolest Game Characters of All Time: Max Payne (Max Payne series)

We are looking for cool here, and to do that we need to ask what actually defines cool. After checking the dictionary and finding the definition to be ‘neither warm nor very cold’, I threw it in the bin and tried to come up with some attributes that I consider to be cool, again I drew a blank. So in desperation I got out all my old games and started listing the characters that I thought were cool. Having my list of names helped me a lot to whittle down to just one, or at least a couple, where some serious battling got me the name for my coolest character. So it came down to whom rather than what defines cool in my eyes.

So who is the coolest of them all...? Max Payne. So where do we start here?As with most things let us start at the beginning, he is a normal guy working as an NYPD detective, with a wife and baby daughter living in a leafy suburb, completely un-cool and that in itself adds to his status. But, after his wife and daughter are killed by drug junkies high on a drug known as Valkyr, Max becomes the ultimate badass one-man-army vigilante, and that makes him cool, in fact that makes very cool. He takes on gangsters with his trusty sawed-off shotgun and the uber-cool ability to dodge bullets in slow motion, in his eternal search for vengeance against the people ultimately responsible for his families’ death.

Max Payne is a true antihero; a man trapped within his past, a tortured broken man constantly reliving his “New York Minute”. His film noir storytelling and unique wordplay add so much to his persona, also added to that is his cynical view of the world and as we know everybody loves a cynic. I could go on and on here about his personal attributes that just exude cool but it all comes down to this. He is THE ULTIMATE VIGILANTE; he can slow down time to dodge bullets, has drug induced flashbacks, takes on the mob, is a tortured soul, has Russian friends, is on the run from the feds, drinks, is straight talking and takes shit from no one, and he wears a leather jacket. Someone please tell me anything there that isn’t cool. Also the game is full of Norse references and everybody loves Vikings, especially ones with Viking long-boats in.

So there you have it, the pinnacle of cool Max Payne

A faux-pas from me was to not include Max Payne 3 on my list games of the year to look out for, in my opinion a crime on my part and it will be in my machine the day it is released. Check out the stills released by Rockstar they look amazing. And before I get any comments Mark Wahlberg never happened.

-Token Gestures

The Coolest Game Characters of All Time: Me

Yeah that's right, I am the coolest games character ever created. Or more accurately, we are. For me a game can become even better when you're able to put yourself into the world given to you as it instantly makes you care more about whats going on in front of you. Sports games were probably the earliest genre of game that allowed you to create yourself or someone else, where I've had serious success lifting various trophies on the PGA Tour, winning a World Cup as captain of the Welsh football team, beating the likes of Stephen Hendry, Mark Williams and Ronnie O' Sullivan at snooker, and lifting various Naismith Trophies with my beloved Toronto Raptors. I've even been a pretty decent skater in iterations of Tony Hawk and also Skate, whereas in real life I cant even stand on a skateboard!

Now that online gaming has become a huge deal, this is another place in which you or I become the avatar and deal death to others. Call of Duty for example, I don't play as a US Marine or a Russian, I play as me. I take decisions as I'd hope I would in real life, and become the soldiers in games like these. Even in games where a character was already named and a history given, my imagination erases this and puts me in its place. In a previous comment on the Sonic post, I mentioned how I relate to Mario and this being a reason I deem him cooler and perhaps it's because I put myself into these characters' places that makes this happen. I'm clearly not a speedy blur hedgehog. A fat plumber? That's more reasonable!

When it comes to videogames characters, none have come close to what we've achieved.

Here's to the Custom Character.

Here's to Us.

The Coolest Game Characters of All Time: Nathan Drake (Uncharted series)

Yawn. Old icons are old. There's a reason why we should only be concentrating on the here and now. It's called progress. Anything else is just hankering for childhood, and you don't want to be accused of that, do you, you big adult-nappy wearing fetish freak you? Thought not. So let's keep it in the here and now, and avoid all that Oedipal crap. And easily the coolest, nay, the best, character of this generation can be found in the swarthy features of one Nathan Drake.

Don't be fooled by all that "everyman" talk. He's not a normal guy at all. His grim satisfaction at snapping a neck followed by some lighthearted banter exposes the heart of a sociopath. And although his body shape could be rightly described as a little husky, he's still a skull-cracking alpha male with the face of an Abercrombie and Fitch model. Everyman? Don't make me scoff.

No, instead his appeal lies in the fact he's just a little better than you. He's not the ridiculous manbeast like Marcus Fenix, but for us cheetos-scoffing basement dwellers, he resonates far more keenly than any steroid-induced lunk. He's the jock in school who had flings with French teachers, or the guy in the pub who can break up fights with a glance. Everyone adores him, and you either want to be him or be on him.

Okay, his far-flung travels reek of Indiana Jones, and adventures are a hodge-podge of a thousand different tales. But damnit, for sheer out and out awesome, you can't get better than the Drake. No other game character conveys cowardice and guts in one wise-cracking, whimpering package. Who needs martial arts when you can throw wild haymakers and brawl like a champ? Of course he's too good to be true, but he's right at the edge of believeability, and that's all you need to buy into his untucked t-shirt wearing, wryly grinning, stubbled shtick.

He's Gerard Butler. He's Han Solo. He's the MAN.

-Paperboy

The Coolest Game Characters of All Time

In my youth, coolness could be easily defined by The Beastie Boys and Bart Simpson, but as I grow old, weary and cynical, I start to think about the term more seriously. Coolness is an almost catch-all term for me and - I would wager - most of my generation, but there are certain characters, from all mediums, that once in a while make you re-asses the term and consider just what it takes to be cool.

Creating a genuinely cool game character is no mean feat, especially when you consider the potential lack of cool on the part of the player. Even David Bowie could be made to look a tit, were he placed in some sort of Avatar-esque situation that saw a 14 year old COD addict running him into walls, trying to find glitches.So often being extensions of our usually un-cool selves, game characters can often struggle to achieve genuine coolness. For that reason, this week at Split-Screen, we will be celebrating all those who overcome such hurdles and stand in our minds as true bad-asses and bonafide cool dudes.

Adjust your mindset back to the 90's, help us bring back the terms 'rad' and 'totally tubular' and cast your vote at the end to help us decided the coolest of them all. Keep watch for your favourite because there will be a new one each day. If you think we're going to miss someone out, e-mail me: thefauxbot@gmail.com to fight their corner and we'll post up your piece to help the campaign.

God Of War 3 Demo Impressions (in the style of a 10-year-old)

God of War 3 is brutally violent to the extent that even know-it-all desensitised gits like myself find themselves chuffing at the screen after each instance of spectacular bloodletting. Platformer staples such as swinging ropes/chains are abandoned in favour of another opportunity to butcher something; Kratos jumping from beast-to-beast, ripping them in half when they've fulfilled their purpose. Rad.

It is the kind of game made to appeal to 10 to 13 year old boys and men who's mental age falls within the same bracket (i.e. me) so it's only fitting that I write the rest of this review in the style of my 10 year old self.

"Right, so there's the first bit and your jumping on the birds and you can see their boobs and you kinda fly on them but then you rip them in half!!!! Then you fight all these skeletons and you've got these chains which are all going like BRAAAKKKSHH WHHAARSHHH FRKRAAAASH and they're whipping all over and you can jump and smash and if you grab the baddies you can rip them in half again.


Then there's this bit where you fight this monster who's a snake a lion and like a goat and you cut all those bits off him and blood goes everywhere. There's a giant on fire and a man on fire in a flying horse and cart and he's throwing more fire at the giant. You help the giant by throwing fire at the man throwing fire and he dies. You go down to beat him up and all these baddies with shields show up and do that thing like the Romans so you've got to beat up this cyclops and ride him and make him smash the shields. The best bit is when you finish riding him and you get to kill him because you rip out his eye. You've got to tap the button cos it's like what ripping an eye out feels like and there's blood going everywhere and all the cables are going FRRRTCH PLTCCHHH and you hurt him so much that he dies. Then the man from the horse and cart is on the floor then and you grab him and rip his head right off and he's screaming ARRGGHHHHHHHHHHH when you do it and then you get to keep his head to find secrets.


After that you beat up more baddies and then there's a flying bit and that is harder than the rest. Then you go to beat up the fire giant but then that is the end of the demo and you don't get to beat him up but I think that when I get the proper game I will get to beat him up and hopefully pull all bits off him like the cyclops. Ripping the cyclops' eye out was the best bit."

Holy fucking shit

Yes. A shocking headline, with two swears in it and not a lot else. What does it tell you? 1) I am crass, vulgar and inarticulate. 2) Something so awesome has happened that I cannot contain nor properly express my emotions. You see, aside from games, my other passion is for clothing - specifically anything made by Mishka. I won't detail that obsession or justify it here, but if you know me, it shouldn't be too much trouble to imagine the mess I made in my pants when I heard that my beloved Mishka have teamed up with Double Fine to produce a duo of Brutal legend t-shirts.


From now on, my time will be split between Modern Warfare 2 and watching the Internet like a techno-hawk as I await details on how to get hold of those beautiful items. Seriously, this is TOO rad. Don't believe me? Then how about adding the fact that the artwork is by James Callahan; who has also produced artwork for my new favourite band: Municipal Waste. Seriously, I'm tapped out.



TOO RAD!

Raddest. Cake. Ever.

via Skullswap

Tim Schafer: We are not worthy of your radness

Look at him there. The man who brought us Grim Fandango, Day of The Tentacle, Full Throttle, Psychonauts and now Brutal Legend. His radness cannot be quantified.

I could perhaps write a biographical piece here, documenting Schafer's radness over his game development career. But right now, all I want to do is spill my metaphorical gamer-jizz all over your internets, because now that I've played Brutal Legend: I'm hyped.

If you need me to tell you that Brutal Legend is a metal fantasy hack n' slash featuring Jack Black, Rob Halford, Ozzy and Lemmy (amongst others) then I just did. You're welcome. Now despite the size of my nerd-boner, I'm not going to blow smoke up your collective arse: as far as gameplay is concerned, Brutal legend is a decidedly so-so affair. Slash, slash, block, dodge, roll, slash, slash slash, slash, guitar riff........wait......guitar riff!? That's not standard hack and slash attire Mr. Schafer! What on earth are you doing? I feel I can answer on his behalf and further my schizophrenic outbursts when I say "I just wanted to make a game that was rad." Well, sir, you seem to have succeeded.


You see, it's not the gameplay that we should be looking at. Whilst being very standard, it is quite playable and is presented with a love and affection for the subject matter not seen since Littlebigplanet. I know there are those of you who will take one look at the sub-par combat and turn thy noses upward. You can't be blamed, but ask yourself: what level of technical excellence are you holding out for? This game expresses more passion and creativity than any other game I've seen this year (perhaps with the exception of Scribblenauts). Sure I'd like groundbreaking gameplay too, but life's never perfect, is it?

HEAVY FUCKING METAL.

This.....

Is the second raddest thing I have seen all day.

Creepy

This is your brain on drugs



If there were more cycloptic characters then the world would be a far radder place.

Avatar Shmarketplace

As many of you already know, the XBOX Live Dashboard was once again updated today, bringing with it games on demand and the titular Avatar Marketplace. As a boy of varying extremes, this new addition would be all the more easier to deal with if I had strong feelings about it, whether they be good or bad. Unfortunately, I find the prospect of purchasing virtual clothes as being rather 'meh'.


Whilst the Lightsaber and Monkey Island props are amusing enough, overall it still feels a bit shit. Thinking about avatars in the wider sense of the word -you know, the kind you can have on OUR AWESOME FORUM - I always thought that half the fun was trawling the Internet for something that you feel represents you. I have agonised over forum avatars, just hoping that selecting that perfect gif will allow other users to know just how rad I think I am. Whether we admit to it or not, we are egotistical creatures who dearly value our sense of individuality. When Avatars were first introduced we would often be forced into creating the most obscure, even disturbing avatars (Token Gestures) in order to attain that sense of individuality. However, with the inclusion of deliberately 'quirky' items -the Monkey Island props, for example- even this option loses it's value.

As always, this is no ordinary moan. Microsoft need worry no more, for I - The Faux Bot - have compiled a list of items that would almost double the Avatar Marketplace's 'Radness Percentage'. (*)

1. 3-D Glasses.


It's a fact that in the 80's, all groups of Cronies had to have at least one dude with 3-D Glasses. Any bad guy with a crew that lacked a 3-D Glasses dude would have been laughed out of town. As such, they are the pinnacle of radness and need to be included.

2. Mike Haggar Costume.


Some of you may have figured out by now that I am slightly obsessed with Final Fight's Mike Haggar. It's partly because he can take Zangief and because he can piledriver a shark and is a full-time mayor of Metro City. However, it is mainly because as a man in his 40's, he has the balls to swagger around looking like Tom Sellick, topless save for the strap of his green dungarees. Any man with this much confidence deserves to be a hero and thus deserves to be immortalised as a downloadable costume for a pointless Avatar.

3. The ability to become a Zombie.

Who doesn't love Zombies? What? You!? Kindly do one, would you?

Right, now that ballbag has left we can go on imagining how amazing it would be for your Avatar to become zombified. Hopefully this sort of thing is an inevitable tie-in for upcoming titles such as Left4 Dead 2 and Dead Rising 2. If not, why not? However, in this eventuality, I propose that Microsoft look no further than George A. Romero's Dawn of The Dead. Next to that plaid-shirted zombie that nearly offs him, Flyboy, or Stephen is the coolest looking Zombie in the whole movie:


Give me that outfit, replete with blood stains, tears and head droop and I'll officially quit moaning forever. Unless I'm perfecting my Bub impression.

4. Kaneda's Bike.


As far as props go, the only thing I could think of was Kaneda's motorcycle from Akira. As a child, when I saw the animated version of Katsuhiro Otomo's manga, I knew that my life would not be complete until I owned THAT bike. The countless attempts to replicate a fully working version are testament to the fact that I am not the only one who holds this dream. It was and still is the coolest thing I have ever seen. Gimme.

What about you? Any thoughts on the update in general, or what items would you demand are included? I only ask because in the event that any of these are actually made available, they will all be exclusive to me in order to retain my individuality, so you'd better get thinking.

The Faux Bot


* The term 'Radness Percentage' is a registered trademark of 'The Faux Bot Radness Consultancy Group'. If you wish to increase your company's 'Radness Percentage' then please contact me directly for a quote.