Video Review: First Play

I don't know why I did this now. The auto focus thing is horrible and I don't know how to turn it off, so apologies for that and, well, eveything really.

Mad miniature skills

A slow weekend recovering from illness has allowed me to jump on the Heavy Rain origami bandwagon. There are a few large scale versions around on-line so I thought I'd try and make a mini one. Here it is^^- I think we can all agree I have achieved a certain degree of success.

Joe Danger finds his way Home

Self-proclaimed 'stunt-em-up' Joe Danger has finally been announced as a Playstation 3 title. There are no mentions of strict exclusivity at this point, but the game is an undeniably good fit for the PS3. With Modnation Racers on the way and Sony's commitment to Littlebigplanet creators Media Molecule -Sony having just bought them and making them a first-party developer- the PS3 is on it's way to becoming the creative gamer's console of choice.

Personally, this is very good for me. As XBOX seem to focus more and more on shooters and adding teh jetpackz to their Haloz, I'll be more than happy to sit with my 'Arthouse Console'.

Joe Danger looks almost as adorable as Littlebigplanet originally did. Creating my own stunts, making pitfalls for friends and enemies - this title has massive potential. Get this on your radar now, then you can say that you read about it in Edge 3 months ago and totally knew it was an Indie game classic in the making, allowing you to laud it up all over your poorly-informed friends. Definitely watch the trailer below.



Via Kotaku

The Faux Bot's next-gen dream console

All this talk of Xboxes with the Blu-Rayz has got me thinking about how I wish I could just meld my consoles together - not just because switching the HDMI cable around is getting on my tits, but because my unit hosts so many peripherals and cables right now that I crave simplicity. This got me thinking about the consoles of the future and how if anybody actually listened to me, they would turn out. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a stark and somewhat frightening vision of a future that could be, as I present you with my dream console.



Behold! In the next generation, consoles will do everything! Just look at all those gubbins, all infinitely more useful than that rubbish Sky Player or a photo gallery app. I suppose that when they actually design it, they will find a way of perhaps scaling it down into one, convenient box. I'd be OK with that. Are you wondering about some of my additions? Wonder no more:

PS3, XBOX 360 and Wii:

These go without saying really. Whilst in all seriousness the idea of a united platform is terrible for the consumer, being able to have Madworld, Uncharted 2 and Left 4 Dead on one machine would be all sorts of awesome.

Teasmaid:

During long sessions of Call Of Duty 4, or any online multiplayer for that matter, I find myself always craving a cup of tea. Not wanting to leave, nor disturb my sleeping family with the rattling of cups, I always find myself left wanting. The Teasmaid is an amazing, self-contained tea-making machine AND alarm clock. Problem solved.

Fleshlight:

What with my dream console being able to do just about everything else for me, I thought it should probably be able to get me off as well. The inclusion of the Number 1 selling male sex toy is, in my humble opinion, an inspired stroke of genius.

Built-in projector:

Everyone has walls and my TV is broken. This is an all-purpose solution and a gift to the consumer. Standard HDMI-out and what not would also be included, just in case.

What do you think? Would you buy it? What inculsions have I missed?
Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo: I will be expecting my royalty cheque in the post.

Ssshh, PS3 price drop.

Alright, so it may just be 'rumours and speculation' but with this coming from 2 sources and with Destructoid chipping in to give it some extra weight, I'm willing to believe. Perhaps it's just wishful thinking, but I've been mulling over the prospect of getting a ps3 for some time now. The one thing that it always comes down to is the price. The lack of games, or at least ones that I can't already get for my xbox, definitely contributes, but my cheapness always prevails. Essentially, I would be paying £300 just to play Littlebigplanet. As much as I want it, it's never going to justify that kind of price tag, especially after the way they've been handling this whole user-generated content debacle. See here!

The fact that a price drop would coincide with the release of Killzone 2 is more than logical and it's surely about time that Sony stopped deluding themselves and realised that they don't run this generation. It's Nintendo's pie now, and Microsoft's price drops help them edge ever-closer to the table, Sony would be wise to follow suit.

http://www.destructoid.com/sony-not-commenting-on-ps3-price-drop-rumors-for-next-year-112524.phtml


The Faux Bot

Console war predictions/musings

Ah E3, the show that last year gave us Viva Pinata: Party Animals, more empty promises about Home and I'm sure Nintendo were probably shit as well. Although it's been dwindling in credibility for some time now, I feel particularly bitter about last year's show. I followed it closely and got squat. Jack shit. I wish I could predict what this year was going to be like, but I am merely a mortal and my skills with the force are not what they once were.
The one thing that is for sure is that this year will most definitely be the year of the copycat.

Sony copies Microsoft, Microsoft copies Nintendo. Sony puts 'Home' logos on game boxes (just like Xbox's Live logos) and Microsoft will probably announce some fuck awful motion controller to tie in with the new Banjo Kazooie game. This whole situation amuses me and frustrates me in equal measure. Xbox seem intent on trying to snatch away the fictional 'casual gamer' market, a market that by definition is never likely to buy many games. They are casual because they buy a Wii and play Wii Sports when the family is around or the house has been cleaned from top to bottom and the roast is in the oven. These people will not be buying 360's, no matter how many family friendly features the 'soft ram into it. They want a Wii, they want that brand. They aren't shopping around for consoles that sport motion sensitivity.

Whilst Microsoft are off chasing Nintendo's shadow, all Sony have to do is hoover up the crumbs of the used and heartbroken hardcore. The gamers that made the 360 what is will no doubt be massively turned off, Sony wades in with it's Live-meets-Second Life, otherwise known as 'Home', tell them that the extra £100 they have to spend on the console gives them free online gaming and Blu-Ray, and the hardcore has a new place to dwell. I've often criticized Sony for simply copying the 360. Alot of my frustration with the PS3 lies in the fact that in terms of quality software and value for money, it pales in comparison to the 360. The PS3 has shown a distinct lack of originality and continually carries with it Sony's characteristic arrogance. Sony's focus is primarily on hardware and their goal with the PS3 seems to be pleasing T3 readers, rather than GamesTM readers. I fall into the latter camp, but I have to give them credit where it's due. There's going to be a hole in the market and they have the biggest, blackest and shiniest cock, and it's firm and ready to plug it.

Microsoft will inevitably lose out by copying Nintendo, whilst Sony will eventually profit from aping their closest rival. It's a sad tale really. Microsoft saw a house paved with gold, but it turns out that somebody gave them the wrong directions. Sony moves in and claims squatter's rights while they're out and Nintendo sit atop their lofty castle built from the bullion that they forged themselves and lined with the finest hookers that their self-printed money could buy. Nintendo laughs like Brian Blessed in Blackadder, whilst eating a fucking huge turkey leg.


The Faux Bot

PS3- First Impressions ( the non fanboy opinion )- Part 1

OK... So I got my PS3 finally and I'm pretty impressed. Firstly, I have a 360, I game on 360, I love a 360 and the reason why I got a PS3 is because I can finally afford to and though "why not". Im not a fanboy of the best system but rather games :D. 

So I bought my PS3 for UT3, Warhawk, Eoj, MGS4, GT5 and all those other games that the 360 won't have ( I know the 360 is getting UT3 but I couldn't wait so fuck  you :D)

The reason why I'm even writing this on these flame ready forums as I wanna give a first day impression from what I'd like too think is a very UNBIASED source... I'd like to think I'm fair in my points and that I back everything with reason, here we go:

1. UNPACKING:- I like the way it was packaged, it's alright, nothing special. I wasn't as blown away as I was when i got my 360 in that little box. When I opened my 360 I got a semi, I'll admit that... BUT... soon as you get the ps3 out, OMG! full hard-on. It looks like a v high end piece of equipment and I was impressed. There is a size difference, but the 360 is a ugly skinny chick and the PS3 is a sexy larger girl. So each to there own on that one I guess :D

2. SETUP:- It was a piece of piss. I had a PS2, so it took all of 3 min. The 360 took a little longer, like 4 so there pretty equal there.

3. INITAL SETUP:- Both the same APART from the update to 2.20 on the PS3 which took ages (or what seemed like it). The 360 just felt like it got you up and gaming quicker out the box. I think I turned on my PS3 at 5pm and was browsing the PSN store by 6 where as when i got my 360, was playing multiplayer on live in pgr3 with in 15 min from setup.

4. Menu First Impression:- PSN WINS! hand's down. as soon as that little piece of classical music starts you think WOW, this is such a mature product, and that XMB bar is so sexy, so efficient, it lovely. Don't get me wrong the XBLA menu is nice, but thats all... It's nice, not wow.

5. Signing up to PSN:- OMG! This shit felt like it took an age, it felt longer then it needed to be BUT this was speeded up by using a keyboard and mouse. So it balances it's self out. XBLA felt like it was much easier to set up. Also psn is free wOOt! +1 

6. Adding a friend:- Both pretty much the same, I only went to add summa ( Mate I know with a ps3 ) cos I knew his tag

7. Starting a game:- Same, put in a game, it plays... I don't know, but is there an option to stop the game from starting when you put it in? 

8. PSN store Vs XBL store:- I can use my switch card... and just pay for what I want? I don't have to pay for points? so if i was PJM for 3.50, I don't have to spend £10 on a card. Yep, point made, it's amazing. I love it, already bought warhawk and omega pack, gonna get pain, PJM and tekken. I really like you don't have to use points. BUT the UK store on PSN don't have as much as XBLA. When it does then the psn store will be even stronger.

9. In game menu:- Quit Game, turn off controller, or PS3. Thats what the Playstation button does so far in games. Yes the XMB in game will make it a lot better but i do like the way 360 does this. Changing in game music on the fly, getting messages, seeing friends etc would make it much better. 

10. Controller:- OMG, after using my 360 and PS2, the PS3 controller feels like something fisher price made, there's no weight there. I've already been on play-asia and ordered a DUEL-SHOCK, I need to feel like I ain't gonna break the thing. On a plus, In built battery AND the usb charger makes it a very cool extra.

These are the only points I can write about so far, as I've had it A day, and the only reason why i'm writing this and not playing is cos warhawks downloading other wise you won't see me for dust :D

FINAL THOUGH:- I see my PS3 as blueray player and something I can play all the games I can't get on 360. I'll still use my 360 as I still got live for a year, all my mates are on it, and it does have the better online service atm

These are my first impressions, and if you don't agree, make a time machine, go back to when I got my ps3 and change my view, but until you do that, suck my nuts :D

-- Mowley