Call of Duty 4: The New Male Shorthand

I'm no sporting enthusiast - this is not a secret and because of this, I have gone my entire life without the benefit of what I like to call 'Male Shorthand'. This unique brand of small talk will get through just about any overly-masculine social situation, be it with you potential father-in-law or that one drunk who will just talk to anybody and it's best you just agree with everything he says because he could flip any moment and start threatening to kill you - you know the type. Missing this skill makes me somewhat of a social leper at times. Please stop me if I'm sounding a little too much like Morrissey.

(click to listen to just how brilliant he is)

Thankfully, Call of Duty 4 exists and Modern Warfare 2 is on the horizon. Call of Duty is fast becoming a new form of male shorthand, sitting comfortably up there with the likes of football and veiled cock-comparing. So many males play it now that it's become almost 'normal' to invest large amounts of time into an online game. For many it's a regular social activity and forms a large part of their life.


Enter: Me - the gaming nerd, once confined to the shadows, now out in the open, ready to make all you 'normies' my bitches. Bear witness to my supreme gaming prowess and gawp in amazement as I describe host migration to you. Although I am such a nerd, I am in no way bitter and I resist the temptation to act superior. Instead, I marvel at the ease with which I can now talk with 'regular guys'.
Usually, I want to talk about how tits looked different in the 70's, or how living your life with Devo's mentality is a really positive thing to do. Regretfully, neither of these make suitable topics for small talk. What Call of Duty has given nerds like me is common ground. Society is now my oyster and nerds are becoming increasingly mainstream, the line growing ever-blurry day-by-day.

We live in a period where gaming is becoming more integrated into the mainstream; even cunts like Vernon Kaye admit to their 'COD addiction'. Us gamers are becoming more acceptable and can no longer be easily classified as mouth-breathing bedroom dwellers ; except for when we lose to someone with a higher rank and then we can be all like: "Oh, fuck you. Look at your rank! What, do you live on this game? Fuck you man, go out and get laid, I get laid which is why I don't have such a great rank. Fuck you, nerd. Fuck you."


Whilst the likes of Fifa and Championship manager have been able to boast this 'everyman appeal' for decades, Call of Duty, being a shooter and not having a link to traditional male pursuits is something of a first. Whilst I'm sure there are plenty of men out there who do rank 'shooting things' on their list of interests, it's hardly football. the likes of Fifa are a logical extension of existing interests, but Call of Duty, coming from a more traditional video game mould is a perfect representation of the shifting demographic of gamers. A shooter now has a wider market and could potentially open the door for other, more interesting titles. Call of Duty 4 is in no way a watered-down gaming experience yet it has garnered massive mainstream attention. I'm not saying that your local will now be awash with newly-formed fanboys soiling themselves over The last Guardian, but I do think that if developers like Infinity Ward maintain their character for innovation and development, then we could see the definition of a gamer becoming even more of a grey area.