..........Finally.

That title doesn't just refer to my return to posting, but also to the fact that something cool just got announced. MAX PAYNE 3! Darn tootin'. I never saw this one coming, I guess I should have after the movie, which probably enjoyed some moderate success and helped to bankroll another game.


Lately I've had a lot of disappointment (I'm looking at you Resident Evil 5). Games so often start out well for me these days, all impressive with their HD biceps and glistening textures. Then the veneer begins to peel and a realise that I've been here before, a million times and I deserve better. In most cases it's easy to just let bygones be bygones and accept that the world is made up of a million different views, but when it comes to gaming I somehow can't back down. I get this horrible feeling that if we all keep gobbling up whatever the masters pour into our trough and never seriously question it's quality, then we'll keep getting fed the same old bullshit. I enjoy Resident Evil 5, but to call it a 'current-gen' game is an insult. I was happy enough playing it, until the surprising wisdom of my wino father showed me the light. And I quote: "It looks pretty, like, but I've seen it all before." And so have I. Countless times I've fought those generic bosses, wielded those tried-and-tested weapons and guided those 2-dimensional 'heroes'.

Nowadays, I'm going to start expecting to be disappointed. Optimism doesn't work kids, at least not in the gaming world. Dan Houser, I will hold you personally responsible if come this winter, you deliver me Max Payne HD. Simply put, don't fuck this up Rockstar.

Another point before I go: With Capcom now challenging Scamco Bandai in the dirty thief DLC field, I think it's only fair that they be re-branded as either Capcunt or Cuntcom. Charging for a difficulty level in Mega Man 9, unlock keys for SFIV costumes and omitting Resi's multiplayer for an additional fee are their most recent crimes. Utter cunts.

The Faux Bot