Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Fallout: New Vegas Collector's edition makes my genitalia tingle

Seriously, I feel that it is now OK to start talking about my junk again. I reckon I lasted about a week and I genuinely feel as if I have learned some important lessons. For instance, I now understand that sometimes it's fine to talk about your dick and balls. Sometimes they are glossy and/or aroused and people will want to know about these sort of things, from time to time. That, right there, is the key lesson: 'from time to time'. In short, I have learned that it is only acceptable to talk about one's junk in certain situations; situations like Bethesda's announcement of its Fallout: New Vegas Collector's Edition.


It contains:

  • Lucky 7 poker chips. Each of the seven poker chips was designed to represent chips from the major casinos found on the New Vegas strip and throughout the Mojave Wasteland.
  • A fully customized Fallout: New Vegas deck of cards. Each card in the pack has been uniquely illustrated to depict characters and factions found within the game. Use the cards to play poker, blackjack or Caravan, an original card game that was created by Obsidian especially for New Vegas!
  • A recreation of the game's highly coveted "Lucky 38" platinum chip.
  • A hardcover graphic novel "All Roads," that tells the story of some of the characters and events that lead up to Fallout: New Vegas. "All Roads" was written by Chris Avellone, the game's creative director, and created in conjunction with Dark Horse Comics.
  • The Making of Fallout: New Vegas DVD. This documentary DVD will contain exclusive video content, including interviews with the developers in which they take you from concept to creation and discuss topics such as story, setting, legacy of the Fallout franchise and more.
Stolen from Destructoid

Fellow wastelanders, let us unite our boners and pledge to buy this wonderful display of unnecessary ownership and commodity fetishism. I tell myself that constantly buying this crap is OK because it's going to form a nest-egg for my future children, who will inevitably be ruthless little fuckers willing to sell their father's prized possessions the very instant that he shuffles off his mortal coil. Go get 'em, tigers, this one's for you.

Jamie Foxx really is Lynch

Wow, for real!? I thought everyone was joking up until this point. Already one of my favourite franchises though, so I'm willing to give this a chance. Can Foxx do schizophrenia?

Confirmed by Empire Magazine's Twitter

Monday, 10 May 2010

LITTLEBIGPLANET2!

Just got made official! Looks adorable as all hell, right? Makes me want to go back an do something creative with the first one, but that might have to wait until after Lost Planet 2. I know this will be everywhere, but my motivations for posting it are entirely selfish, you see I need to know what that music is! Internet sleuths, tell me! hopefully I will have an answer when I return.



What are your thoughts? Now it's going to be about making your own games rather than just your own levels with Media Molecule boss Mark Healey being convinced that the title will see creators giving birth to entirely new genres, is this blind optimism, genuine, or marketing guff?

If only the Lost videogame was really like this


By Penney Design

Via Super Punch

I am not a target market (or at least I wouldn't be if I didn't enjoy buying things so much)


The infamous words of Johnny Rotten appropriately set the tone here: “Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?” If only we paid a little more attention, us ‘modern gamers’ would find ourselves answering ‘yes’ to this question on a regular basis. I could use numerous examples to illustrate my point here; the scourge of subscription fees or even DLC swindles, but I’ll resist the temptation in order to bring something else to your attention, something you may not have given much thought – the horror that is the ‘exclusive beta’.

The idea of a Beta itself is not one that I oppose. Games like Halo Reach will greatly benefit from their beta testing – allowing it’s designers to fix glitches and rebalance the gameplay before retail release. Reach’s Beta serves so many purposes; it’s findings directly affect the game’s development, it gets the fans hyped and it makes them feel as if they are an important part of the design process, which they naturally should be. My issue is more with the frequent misuse of the term: when developers describe a humble demo as a beta. They deliberately abuse the term to make their game seem all the more important, to give it an air of exclusivity and make us want it all the more. They invite us to ‘take part’ rather than simply ‘download’ and so many of us are willing to participate. I’ll admit, I’ve done it a few times now; sat on Twitter waiting for codes and gone through shitty, long-winded registration processes just to get myself a beta code. Not once did I ask myself the right questions: Is this actually a Beta? Is there a feedback system in place? Is there really enough time between now and the game’s release to implement any of this feedback? Nearly every time, the answer would have been ‘hell no’.


If you’re wondering why publishers and developers engage in such seemingly deceitful and devious behaviour, the answer is quite simple. They aren’t pure evil nor do they get off on hoodwinking you, it’s just that they’re getting a bit desperate. Right now, we are experiencing one of the gaming industry’s most fruitful and productive periods. Naturally, there are a great number of games all vying for our attention, desperate for us to send our hard-earned coin in their specific direction. Nothing wrong with that. Go capitalism. The problem for the companies is that competition is tougher and they have to come up with more imaginative and elaborate ways in which to make us believe that only they deserve our patronage. In times such as these, the ‘Beta’ is a marketing man’s wet dream. Getting customers to work for a code instantly raises brand awareness. You can tell your friends, you can gloat and you were aware of and thinking about that one particular game the entire time you were doing it. The process of working for the beta code is a persistent form of advertising and every time you gloat, every person who follows your words, makes you the guy with the digital sandwich board. Before you realise it, you’ve allowed yourself to be marketed to and you’ve done somebody’s job for them. It wouldn’t be so bad if you’d got paid, but all you were left with was a shitty demo for a game that nobody really cared about until they identified the distinct whiff of exclusivity.


My heart goes out to the various marketing departments that try these tactics, because my better nature believes that it was probably the last resort. When the previews and trailers aren’t paying off, poor little Johhny Marketing Department has to resort to the false beta to drum up some interest before release. I want to buy these guys a book filled with Donald Draper wisdom so that they may see the error of their ways and I pity them because it’s a tough job. On the one hand you’ve got disgruntled, loud-mouthed gamers like myself who scarcely have an eye for anything that isn’t made by Capcom and on the other you’ve got jaded games journalists who have to play the same old crap day-in, day-out. Simply put, there’s always going to be a lot working against the marketing of any game, especially with the shelves being so crowded.

Publishers and their marketing departments continue with this sort of behaviour for one, simple reason. We, the gamers, allow them to. Every time we cue up for a demo masquerading as a beta, we are telling them that this shit works. As consumers, we should remain stalwart, sensible and demanding. There will always be plenty to play, so stop running around and stop allowing yourself to be marketed to. Those marketing guys get paid tidy sums, so make them work for it. Every time we get over-excited at the whiff of something being even mildly exclusive, we are doing someone’s job for them and sending out the message that they don’t need to try with the products any more, because the marketing works like a dream.

Saturday, 8 May 2010

Chun-Li and Cammy restyle

If you were wondering where to go for your nerd boner today, look no further! Courtesy of Incise Soul here are some images of the Street Fighter duo - Tecmo (Ninja Gaiden) style.








SanCom's Artefact put it more amusingly than I could: 'Fans of the female cast of Street Fighter finally gain some welcome respite from the colossal thighs Capcom has lately seen fit to grant them'. Heh. More pictures on his original post.

I can't say I prefer these renditions over the originals, or that I've ever contemplated a female Street fighter cast with regular thighs, but they're definitely worth a look^^.

Big-up the 'buff

If any proof was needed that igglybuff's Blanka was a bad-ass motherfucker here it is. This picture was accurate as of yesterday (7th May) and he is still active (when he's not drinking beer or playing with kittens), so watch your ass if you see him lurking around in the SSFIV ranked lobby.



'Number one in Europe, bitches' - igglybuff 07/05/10

Followers