Pizza = Health

Attributing memories to facets of popular culture is by no means strange behaviour in this age. Undoubtedly we all associate certain emotions and memories with particular books, music, films and of course, games. Throughout my childhood, one genre stuck with me and continues to have a profound effect on me even now. My undying love for the scrolling beat-em-up is what made me cream in my shorts the first time I saw Castle Crashers or the first time I saw the animations of Paul Robertson. These games come from the time that made Capcom and Konami the giants that they are today. They made games that defined my childhood and for that, I will be eternally grateful. Without further ado, I want to share some of my favourite games with you and the memories that are linked to them.

The Simpsons (Arcade) by Konami



Before I became a stereotypical postmodern smart-arse, The Simpsons was pure comedy because Homer was silly and Bart was rad. Whilst this seems like a cheap, obscure cash-in now, back then I cared not about how this game simply didn't fit with the genius of the show's writing. I was young and didn't care. Right on. No matter how snobbish I get though, I cannot repress my love for this game. Just watching the playthrough and listening to the theme tune rendered in just sixteen bits brings back fond memories of the time I spent in the seaside arcades of Tenby. I cared not for seaside trinkets or souveniers. I converted whatever money I was given into fifty pence coins and went hell for leather. My parents were always disappointed that I never had 'much to show' for my time spent on holidays. Shows what they knew.

My love for The Simpsons leads on wonderfully to the next game in this nostalgia trip. I never had Satellite TV, so my only exposure to The Simpsons before it hit BBC2 and Channel 4 was renting the videos from the now sadly departed Clubs Video. Situated just a short walk from my house, Clubs Video was the best place in the world next to Tenby. Not only could I rent Simpsons videos, but I could also get a 20p mix-up and play on their arcade cabinet:

Cadillacs and Dinosaurs (Arcade) by Capcom



I had no idea where the hell this game came from. I have since learned that it was based upon a series of comic books created by Mark Schultz. Apparently it had figures, chocolate bars and a TV Series, but my only exposure to the licence was the Capcom arcade game. It took the standard Final Fight template, but mixed it up with vehicle sections and the fact that you could punch a raptor in the face. My love of all things post-apocalyptic could have been subconsciously spawned by this game as watching the playthrough now has me fawning over the decaying cityscapes and Road Warrior character stylings.

Sunset Riders (Arcade) by Konami



My local Leisure Centre was hardly a 'hot spot' for video games, what with it being the kind of place that should be encouraging kids to be more physically active. However, they still saw fit to sell trays of chips stacked to the heavens and have an arcade cabinet nestled between the vending machines. That cabinet just happened to house Sunset Riders.

Just as much of a shooter as it was a brawler, Konami's Sunset riders took a bold direction: moving the scrolling beat-em-up out of the familiar territories of dystopian American cities and licensed properties, and took it into the wild west of our father's youths. Chip-greased buttons and frantic yells as we ran on top of the stampedes were the order of the day and how could I forget "bury me with my money" which possibly made me piss myself twice as hard now as it did then.

Guardian Heroes (Saturn) by Treasure



One of the first pieces I ever bullied Bojack into writing here was his very own love letter to this somewhat forgotten gem. Whilst this came along a lot later in my life and it wasn't housed within an arcade cabinet, it still brings back fond memories. Countless Saturdays were spent watching Bojack beast this game. I would hardly ever play, but we would both stare at a 14 inch portable TV for hours on end, until my head was pounding from the eye strain. I adore this game, not just for it's superb design, but also because it reminds me of good times with one of my brothers.

The game's legacy lives on through The Behemoth's Castle Crashers. Crashers is in many ways a spiritual sequel, taking on Guardian Heroes weapons, levelling and RPG elements and reconfiguring them with a genuine sense of affection. The game featured sublime animation, character design and music and is easily my most sought-after title. As soon as I get my hands on that Saturn, I'll be hunting for this game morning, noon and night.

I'm sure there are games out there that hold special sentiment for all of us. This was but a small selection of mine and barring some sort of backlash for my outpouring of sentimentality, this will be one of many such features.

The Faux Bot

Go home and be a family man

You know who's awesome? cr0nt, that's who. You may have noticed him making a few comments lately and he has become a welcome addition to the site. Anyway, I mention in passing that I was thinking of getting a forum; just so you guys can conveniently talk amongst yourselves, start debates, make suggestions without the restrictions of specific comments sections. I mentioned this. BAM! Five minutes later and I'm presented with a link to our very own forum. Shower this man with praise and go sign up. Start some topics, give us some ideas and most importantly, enjoy it. It's for you guys.

I'm flattered and honoured to have this. Thanks, cr0nt. You sir, rule.

Sign up or die!

The link will be permanently on the left-hand side of the blog for hereon in.

The Faux Bot

Guns for Toys (?)

A special toy post this week as it's going to feature the bits and pieces that have filled the cups of The Faux Bot and Bojack85 over the last year or so.

First off some Metal Gear Solid goodies in the forms of Real Action Heroes, Big Boss, Raiden and Old Snake:

I think we can all agree Real Action Heroes make a good toy. A toy you'd be happy to explain to any child why they couldn't touch it let alone play with it, knowing full well you'd just spent the best part of an hour hovering it around the work desk making 'combat noises'. It's completely different though, people of our maturity can appreciate figures on so many more levels than your average 9 year old. Nooch. These Mediacom beauts don't come cheap now though, the Raiden 12" seems be be going for $200 and over on eBay.

Regular figures not cutting it for you these days? Yearning for the bronze statues of times past? Mindzeye Studios have heard your call and released some bronze style Gears characters. OK, so its not life-size but still pretty good I think you'll find. The kind of figure of Marcus Fenix the queen might collect.

Look at him there. Striking. I can't say too much about Gears as it seems looking through the merchandise has stirred up some pretty emotional stuff I thought I was over regarding Dom and Maria. Why do they always take the good ones ;_;.

Last but not least, Nintendo Monopoly. I don't know what to say except I'm giving some serious thought to getting this. Look at it! It's like old, shit monopoly, but with a Nintendo theme! An amazon seller has it for 26 clams which is a little steep, but a quick Google search will find you a set for 20.

The pewter pieces are Mario’s Cap, Link’s Iron Boots, Hylian Shield, Donkey Kong’s Barrel, Koopa Shell and NES Controller.

Game anyone?

Justtherightbullets.

The Split-Screen Podcast: Episode 3

Alright, I'll admit it. The second part of Episode 2 kinda went AWOL, and we're still asking you to endure with our poor sound quality, but what we lack in professionalism, we make up for in AWESOME! Yes, that's right, 'AWESOME' is a quantifiable measure. It has a scale and everything.

So, here is Episode 3. The sound is.....varied, there's 2 whole minutes of awkward Bojack85 love and we announce a new competition. What more do you want? Bad Albion-esque accents, you say? Boy, are you in for a treat!

Download:

MEGAUPLOAD

Stream/Download:

Last.FM

Seriously though, any home recording tips?

The Faux Bot

Scott Pilgrim: The Game!

I know there's a few of us here that a big fans of Bryan Lee O'Maley's Scott Pilgrim comics. You may have heard that it's currently being made into a film by none other than Edgar Wright, who again, I know a lot of us are big fans of.

The best thing about the movie adaptation is perhaps that the franchise gets 'marketing guys'. And we all know what 'marketing guys' love, don't we? That's right: VIDEO GAME TIE-INS! Appropriately, the game will take the form of a side-scrolling beat-em-up that will be downloadble: presumbly through PSN and XBLA. There are no more details yet, but Ubisoft are expected to make a full announcement in the week.

Whether it uses O'Malley's graphic style, or imagery from the live-action counterpart is yet to be seen. Hopefully it'll be the former and O'Malley will be heavily involved. It's awesome to see Scott Pilgrim becoming a videogame, especially as the comic itself is so heavily influenced by gaming. Should be a match made in heaven.

via /Film


The Faux Bot

Super Duper Hyper Ultra Omni Combo!!!!!!!

While on my daily visit to one of my favourite game websites I managed to come across this little gem of a video uploaded into the user section, not to mention that it also fits in nicely with a certain tournement currently taking place and one which I will (COUGH) WIN! (COUGH) .....sorry about that might be swine flu. Anyway this video was created and presented at the recent EVO 2k9 Street Fighter Tournement and it clearly shows a hardcore veteran who goes by the alias of "Mej" peforming some unbelieveably high combos with Ryu in the majority of games he's appeared in from the original Street Fighter to some of the less loved games of the series such as the 3D Street Fighter EX series. If theres one thing I've learned from this video after watching it is that I have bearly began to even scratch the surface of what some of these characters are capable of and I dont know about the rest of you but I hope I never run into this person on Xbox Live. See for yourselfs!!

Video Games | Ryu Combos Evo 2k9

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Bojack85

8-Bit Weezer

During my day job, the in-store radio torments me with all sorts of shit that could be considered akin to water torture. Lady Gaga, Pussycat Dolls and Akon are just some of the insufferable cunts that I have to endure on a daily basis. Now, not that they are in any way out of my line of fire, but at least hearing La Roux's new single the other day prompted a decent conversation.

My workmate commented upon the use of 8-bit synths which prompted me to start harping on about chiptune. I promised him that I'd post something about it for his benefit and I'm a man of my word, so here it is. If, like him, you have no idea what I'm going on about, just go do the obvious first: Wikipedia

Then, enjoy this delightfully odd chiptune Weezer cover album, produced by some of the genre's most esteemed performers.



Download here!

The Faux Bot