I love any excuse to say "Hill-Dog"

At around 2 a.m. this very morning, my brother sent me a text message informing me of just how pant-wettingly funny he found Hillary 'Hill-Dog' Clinton's message to the WWE audience. I don't really know what he was on about, seeing as I don't have digital TV. What a coincidence though, that I should stumble across this today. As far as I'm concerned, this is the single greatest argument for just why user-generated content is such a good thing.

This one's for you, mon frere.



The Faux Bot

Who needs plasmids? - A less drastic type of modification

It seems that those of us lucky enough to get our hands on the collector's edition of Bioshock fell into two distinct categories. On one hand you have those that were just happy to get a big daddy model - that's me, then on the other hand you had those who were massively underwhelmed by the model's general crappiness and complete lack of relation to it's source - that's everyone else.

Whilst this will do little more than reinforce the opinions of those who felt a little cheated, it is nice to see someone taking the situation into their own hands. If you don't like your big daddy model, then just modify it! Simple, right? Perhaps if you're an experienced model builder. Schwerpunkt Stuidos just happen to be quite experienced and have kindly provided any aspiring customisers out there with a step-by-step account of how to go about modifying your own Mr. Bubbles.

Having spent quite a bit of my childhood building and painting Games Workshop kits, I'm half tempted to give this a go. But then I tell myself that when it inevitably all goes tits-up, I won't be able to get my hands on another one. With that in mind, let's just look at the nice pictures, shall we?

http://schwerpunktstudios.wordpress.com/

The Faux Bot

Give this boy a job!

This could be, nay, should be an advert for the upcoming Fable 2. Molenyuex, if your reading, hire this guy right now.



Dean is a very talented young man who has worked very hard to put a dark past behind him. Despite several years of 'easy money' thanks to his skills as a people trafficker, he has turned his life around in favour of more wholesome pursuits. I can't stand the idea of him not producing some more work like this, so for God's sake, if your reading this and you know of any outlet for his talent, please email me.


The Faux Bot

I hate the term 'Geek Chic' but....

When I'm not trawling the Internet for nuggets of information on GTA IV or F5'ing the hell out of the Castle Crashers blog in the hope that they might actually decide when to release the game, I spend alot of time looking at aspirational fashion websites such as http://www.hypebeast.com/ where white boys use terms like 'threads' and 'hook up' without even the faintest trace of irony.

Very rarely do my two worlds converge, so imagine my fanboyish glee when I saw these.



What you're looking at are a range of Sega-inspired t-shirts from Japanese streetwear label Uniqlo. It's doubtful that they'll ever make their way over here to the U.K, but if you can read Japanese, they're available for 1,500 Yen over at the Uniqlo Japan Webstore. Failing that, get on the eBays. Other auction sites are available. I call dibs on the House of the Dead one.

More here: http://www.hypebeast.com/2008/04/uniqlo-ut-x-sega-tribute-tees

The Faux Bot

"I like a woman with a BIG ASS!"

Seeing as I don't make a habit of playing derivative GTA rip-offs, I never played the Scarface game. It looked bloody awful and I adopted and "out of sight, out of mind" approach, kind of like you would with an old relative, or more specifically, as I plan to do when I shove my withered parents into the worst care home that money can buy. So, from a bad use of Al Pacino in a videogame, to a good use of Al Pacino in a videogame. They should really make this.



The Faux Bot

Braaaaaa-vo *slow clap*

What the fuck is this? Oh, that's right, some much-needed new maps for Kane & Lynch's online multiplayer mode. Whilst being one of ten fans of the game, I was still well aware of all of it's massive failings- for all intents and purposes, the game is utter shit. Great characters, cool costumes and a distinct style made it more than bearable for me and it's online multiplayer is the reason that it managed to stay in my disc tray. With only four maps though, it began to wear a bit thin.



Normally, I'd be overjoyed at this announcement, but with GTAIV arriving just 12 days after, I'll be hard pushed to give a fuck. It's like they timed it to make themselves look worse, as if they purposely want to be overshadowed by a game that offers much in the same way of vicarious criminal thrills, just with far more competence. Poor IO, let's hope they can get it together for a fixed sequel, or at least a new Hitman game. Far overdue in my opinion. Gimme Hitman.


Also, GTA IV.

The Faux-Bot

Slamming up HYPE in yo' collective FACE!

Yes, you read that right. If you hadn't already heard, I'm around 70% ghetto, so unfortunately, this sort of thing tends to just slip out sometimes. But yes, I thought I'd treat you to a GTA IV hype round-up, but then I saw the light, realising that you have all probably already visited Gamesradar, Destructoid and IGN to see their hands-on multiplayer impressions, haven't you?

With that in mind, Let me direct your wanton hype-funnels in a less saturated direction. Firstly, some juicy, bite-sized morsels of info. have surfaced concerning the soon to be much-hyped Gears of War 2. Go read it here, then come back: http://www.gamesradar.com/xbox360/gears-of-war-2/news/gears-2-information-blowout-/a-20080408113242430015/g-2007031211164597054 sounds cool, right? Dynamic cover, Locust Shamans and a plethora of new, hyper-real comic book dropout characters that we all love to hate. What more do you want? A little depth maybe? Pfft.

Secondly, prise open your insatiable tube for the Castle Crashers Development Blog: http://devblog.thebehemoth.com/ Not that it ever looks like this game will actually ever come out, but we can always dream and continue to moisten ourselves in the meantime. I want this game more than any XBOX Live Arcade title ever, not just for the rough and tumble, deceptively simple, and wonderfully accessible gameplay, but because it reminds me of what it was like to play games as a child. Sitting with a friend to play Streets of Rage or Golden Axe, they were good times. Times filled with the kind of naive wonder that led to combining cola with orange juice and idolising your best friend's mother's absolutely fantastic corned beef sandwiches. To me, the development team over at The Behemoth seems to share that fondness for the past, and fully understand what made it so enjoyable.

Lastly, to wrap up, go drool here: http://fallout3.wordpress.com/2008/04/07/fallout-3-the-new-pictures-at-pcgamesde/. New Fallout 3 screenshots. Looks amazing. Can't Wait. Sleep now. Becoming increasingly aware that my words sound as if spoken by Rorschach. Legs tired. Go watch Young Ones in bed. Bye. Must get better lock on door. I like sugar cubes. Etc. Apologise for overwhelming amount of sexual imagery.

The Faux-Bot