Monday, 28 January 2008

Pwning from a distance.

Getting 'pwned' or, as I often refer to it, 'having my ass handed to me' is by no means a new experience for me. I had what you may call a baptism of fire, being schooled day in, day out on Gears Of War, and then upgrading to Call Of Duty 4. Sometimes I win, but usually, I fail in the most spectacular fashion. Whether its that high-pitched American 12 year old that has the reactions of a meerkat, or the unshakable work-ethic of my friend, and sometimes mentor, Bojack85, there is always something, or someone to remind me that I am forever destined to be a digital punchbag.

I find solace in single player experiences. I marvel at my own ability to fully appreciate Bioshock, or Okami and lovingly record every smooth line I nail in Skate. Devil May Cry 4 has recently entered my must-buy list after much debate over whether or not it would be too much of a challenge for me. After a shower-related epiphany (where most of them occur) I decided that DMC4 would be fine to spend some money on, as I managed to complete both Lost Planet and Dead Rising. I consider all of these games to have the extreme 'Capcom Effect' in common: translate to -they are all really hard. I am willingly challenging myself, this is good, this is.....progress.

By today I am comfortable with this decision. Assuming that I can afford it, I look forward to Devil May Cry 4, keeping in mind that the extra challenge will provide more playtime from what, for the average gamer, would be a relatively short-lived experience. I found this video:

It is a display of awesome gaming prowess for which I salute its creator. Then I see this in the comments below, I am broken:

Just to clarify - user '2percentmilk' states: "Played the demo, hope the real game isn't that easy..."

An open letter to 2percentmilk:

I suppose you think that's rather clever do you? I mean, telling everyone how easy you found that demo. Really? You were so amazed by its lack of difficulty that you saw fit to put that as your public comment, rather than addressing the skill witnessed above. No doubt you perform such combo juggles in your sleep. It would seem that not even the mighty Capcom can provide 2percentmilk with a suitable challenge. We bow down in the shadow of your greatness. We stare slack-jawed as you perform 100-parry combos in Street Fighter 3. Or effortlessly get 1000 achievement points on Dead Rising. Thank you for sharing your greatness with us. We are in awe of you. Please, teach us master.

Really, come on. What kind of person finds Devil May Cry 'too easy'. Am I the only one who thought that Boss in the demo was actually quite difficult? Its almost as if he knew I had difficulty with it, and decided to rub salt in my fresh wounds, boasting and laughing manically. I don't know what motivates this behaviour. Maybe under-confidence with the opposite sex, or in real social situations. Maybe he feels so undervalued that he needs to flex his muscles on Internet message boards. I don't know anymore. How could one throwaway comment cause me so much mental anguish? It's as if God wishes to remind me that any confidence I have in my gaming prowess in unfounded and I should quit now, because even in the solace of the single player experience, the pwners will still somehow find a way to demean me.


On a lighter note, that Psychonauts is rather good, isn't it? and Rez HD is out this week.

Let the good times roll.

The Faux Bot

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