Saturday, 11 August 2007

KRAZEE DAYS/LAZY NIGHTS: Stranglehold's guns, doves and weird dialogue.

I'm still waiting for the Skate. demo and now it's been even further delayed due to some cock-up with the video editor system and it metaphorically jizzing all over the servers. Anyway, God of Games threw me a bone on Wednesday in the form of John Woo's Stranglehold Demo. I've played through that one level about 10 times now, and yes, I'm very bored of it, but there is fuck all else to play. I've now got my combo up to 76 though, it might soon turn out to be shit when I ask other people who have played it, but for now, I'm surfing that wave of loser glory. *sigh*

Apart from the overwhelming amount of Max Payne-esque fun I've been having, one other thing in particular struck me about this game; what the hell are they saying?! The characters, that is. Well, ok so I can understand them, Chow-Yun-Fat just sounds a bit shit. However, one sequence in particular has been confusing me on every single playthrough. When you enter the second Standoff, Tequila asks "Who killed the cop?" To which generic Chinese, yet surprisingly English-fluent, Gangster replies "Go to Tia-o and ask in I an I. But be quick, there won't be any left after tomorrow." Bare in mind, I had to kinda piece that together.

Now, what the fuck is I an I, where is Tia-o and what won't there be many left of? This has confused me greatly, but after much deliberation, I have come to what I believe to be a fairly accurate translation. What the gangster is trying to say is that there is some sort of device/product that will help Tequila with his answers. Most likely, this item is one of those all-knowing magic 8-Balls. Tia-O is a huge shopping Mall and I an I is the Chinese equivalent of The Gadget Shop. They are having a sale on the magic 8-Balls and they will, most likely, all be sold out if Tequila doesn't shift his arse.

I hope this translation will provide all of you fellow confusees with a more satisfying Stranglehold experience.

The Faux-Bot

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