Yes, but the real question is: Does Mark Hamill do the voice for him?

I don't know if I've ever confessed it on here before, but frankly, I'm shit at beat-em-ups. Absolute rubbish. The reason? A complete lack of manual dexterity and an attention span that a 6 year old ADD sufferer could put to shame. I learn a handful of easily executable moves, flog them to death and consequently, crumple like so many paper cups when faced with any sort of genuine competition.

The problem is that I also love a good brawler. The magnificent Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 will always be in my top 10 and I have the softest of soft spots for Soul Calibur's Seigfried (he's so dreamy, also, big sword). So, I routinely punish myself, by playing these games but constantly lack the patience or dedication to unlock their full potential and actually get anywhere with them. Luckily, the Mortal Kombat series never really posed such a problem to me. I always thought the character design was shit, and the fatalities (by far the series' strong point) were too difficult for me to either remember or master. Now it's all change.They had to go and throw a spanner in my works.....

Watch to the end of the video for one of the coolest fatalities ever.



The Faux Bot

Just incase you didn't know....

fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap...........................................fap

The Faux Bot

Hype Pipe: Dead Space

Unfortunately for the team behind Dead Space theirs is a game that, for most, will never be more than the sum of its parts. Just one minute of gameplay footage makes it very clear that Dead Space is a game that wears its influences on its sleeve. But, when those influences happen to be Alien, The Thing, Event Horizon and Resident Evil 4, is that really so bad after all?

If you subscribe to the modernist doctrine of constant invention and innovation, then Dead Space is a game that will surely disappoint. However, if you're an oh-so-cool postmodern cat like myself and you enjoy such reinterpretation, then get prepared to cack your knickers.

What impresses me the most about Dead Space is that whilst it can't escape what it owes to stories, settings and mechanics that we've already seen, it still strives to prove itself. Clearly, this is one original IP that EA are not happy to simply push out into the big, bad world and leave to fend for itself. EA have taken care of this baby, providing the little blighter with its very own animated film and comic book. Not many newly acquired IP's can boast such treatment, and even fewer endeavour to make such things more than just promotional tools. The comic and animated film both take the form of prequels that tell the story of just how things got quite so deranged and for the time being, are doing a perfect job of setting up a smart, self-contained mythology.


What I've seen of the animation is hardly anything to write home about, but thankfully it is surpassed by the quality of the comic, which itself is animated and can be found on Gametrailers.com or the console network of your choice. The distinctive art style of Ben Templesmith (30 Days of Night) is a considered and informed choice and just goes to show quite how seriously EA are taking it. Whether you like it or not, you can't knock them for effort. More cue-taking can be seen in the Bioshock-esque advertising and safety posters that can be seen around the game's setting: The Ishimura, a 'planet cracking' mining ship. Whilst they lack the flair or depth of Bioshock's art design, I still applaud them for trying and for realising that every element in a scene should be considered.


Whether it'll scare me or not, time will only tell. But everything so far suggests that I will be massively entertained. The combat seems to take the 'survival' element of its genrevery seriously; forcing you to strategically disarm (literally) and incapacitate your enemies. The lighting and environmental design seem to be perfectly accompanied by some fantastic audio work and I have no doubt that what this game lacks in innovation, will be made up for with plenty of atmosphere.

You can, and should, check out the truckload of Dead Space media over at Gametrailers, including the aforementioned animated comics and specific documentaries on sound design and 'strategic dismemberment'.

http://www.gametrailers.com/game/5563.html

The Faux Bot

PS3 the equivalent of a mid-life crisis Porsche...apparently

Did you ever wonder what your particular choice of console said about you? Of course you did. Well, wonder no more as MSN's lifestyle channel is here with their unique brand of enforced self-evaluation. You thought you bought that PS3 because you wanted God of War 3? Think again, subconsciously you envy black men, assuming they all have massive johnsons and this is your form of over-compensation. Thought you bought that 360 because of Live and Left 4 Dead? Apparently not, you latent white supremacist, you. Don't even get me started on DS owners. Kiddie fiddlers.

But seriously.

MSN Dating claims that their guide to 'Boys and their toys' is an invaluable tool for the postmodern woman on the prowl. Why bother discovering your potential partner's personality for yourself, when the Internets is so kind to provide a simple guide to defining men through their purchases.

Ladies; want a loyal, early-adopter with a big bank balance, who demands nothing but the best from his technology, just as he does with his women? Then the PS3 owner is for you! He won't let you fuck around with his Littlebigplanet account though, because collaboration and creativity is for fags. He bought the biggest, blackest machine to serve as a metaphor for his personality, and his cock. He will fuck you roughly, and won't even ask before he puts it in your arse. You will enjoy this.

Ladies; want a fun, upbeat individual who likes it cheap and cheerful? Then the Wii owner is for you! The less he spends on his own hobbies means the more you can milk him for to fuel your own lust for commerce, right? Perhaps, or maybe he's just broke. You'd better get used to the sights and smells of Burger King. But that's OK, because he'll sweat all the filth out of his body by getting up off the sofa to play his waggle box!

Ladies; want a passionate, dedicated and socially active man? Then the XBOX360 owner is for you! His fascination with ultra-violent shooters and penchant for screaming threats of arse rape to his enemies are merely manifestations of his overwhelming passion. Let's not forget that such a passion will inevitably transfer to the bedroom! He enjoys the social aspect of gaming offered by XBOX Live. He just loves to be with friends, and in no way uses the service as a security blanket to curb his fear of genuine social interaction, or to escape from the fact that he thinks the rest of society comprises of around 90% filth and skunk pussy.


Read the real thing here, it's your funeral:
http://dating.engb.msn.com/matchscene/article.aspx?articleid=9891&TrackingID=523976&BannerID=568008

The Faux Bot

Like an old friend, with a brand new haircut

Skate 2 trailer. Do I really need to write anything to go with this? By now you should all know how much I adore Skate, so I'm practically cacking myself with excitement over the sequel. I've been so busy lately and working with games in my day job kinda sucks alot of my enthusiasm for this blog away. For all of you who diligently check back, you have my eternal thanks. Maybe a long wait for this game is just what I need to get myself all hyped up and ready to write again. I think the original Skate is what got my started here, let's hope that the sequel will provide some sort of rebirth. For now, enjoy!



The Faux Bot